Problem’s with social skills…

Being honest, when I first started getting bullied in primary school, the effect wasn’t as bad on me as it was in secondary school, it was but it wasn’t in a way. It got worse in secondary school. In primary school, I got called names and  got pushed and punched. It made me feel like I was in the wrong, even though I done nothing wrong. All I done was cry or sit in a corner on my own waiting for the end of the day to come. The effect was bad, I’m not going to lie, it made me loose my confidence, I just couldn’t see it happening and now I can see how it effected me. Some people that I thought were my friends were pretending, I found that out half way through primary school, they would be horrible to the point where I would cry. Primary school is your early years and I think that when you find friends in primary school, you’ll only stay friends with maybe 5 at the most, but they may not all be real friends. I had to learn that the hard way. Being young and naive I thought I did something wrong, but then I got told it wasn’t my fault and that they were only jealous…Jealous of what? I don’t know, I really don’t but people always say it. It’s another thing I need to figure out…

So when I first started secondary school I thought it would be okay, that I wouldn’t get bullied, people would like me for me but I was wrong. On the very first day I got picked on, It made it worse cause it was my birthday, I didn’t tell anyone though because I didn’t want birthday beats. I’m not going to lie, what they said hurt, especially as it was my birthday, I mean no one should be sad on their birthday. I didn’t tell anyone, I kept it in, I thought it was just the thing that happens to all year 7s but I was wrong. It wasn’t people in year 7 though, we were all as nervous and shy as each other, looking at our year group now I wonder what happened ha-ha. It was people from years above that were bullying me, and it carried on as well, all throughout my school life, it still happens now but it’s from people in my year and people below now. I thought I’d be okay in the school, I heard stories from people above that the school was really good and that there was no bullying so I’d be okay, that it would be a new slate but they were wrong. I knew most people from my primary school and having them already pick on me in primary school made me kind of nervous for secondary school.

I got bullied from year 7 to year 11 (my current year), it was awful, absolutely awful, I didn’t want to go to school. It’s not as bad now but it still happens.

So thinking back to how I first was when I started getting bullied in secondary school was horrible, it was worse than primary school. I ended up turning so quiet and I found it difficult to talk to people and make friends, not going to lie, I still do. The people that know me really well now will probably remember this, there was a time when I was really quiet. Now I’m quite loud and hyper all the time but that’s only because I have surrounded myself with positive things and positive people that I know support me 100%. The effect of the bullying  has caused me so many problem’s, I now find it difficult to talk to new people and I find it hard to make friends, it used to be because I had a constant fear that people wouldn’t like me and that they would bully me, it’s sort of the same now, but that is the effect and in today’s society people need to be able to make conversation but because of the bullying it’s been made difficult for me.

These are often the effects of bullying, people are made to feel small and they often have problem’s with social skills and other things. For example, me, I can’t socialize with new people, I can try to but I’m really shy, like today, we had a seating plan in science and I don’t really speak to the boy I was told to sit next to, so when he tried to have a conversation with me it was difficult, but it turned out okay because he understood why after I explained it to him.

Some people reading this will think I’m lying because now I’m all loud and joyful but there was a point when I was sat in a corner reading a book and listening to music, trying to block the bullies out, having no friends, because that’s the truth, I don’t really know how I’ve became friends with half the people I have, I think it’s because they started and carried on the conversation which is easier for me to do, but I’ve also got a ton of support with everything.

Watch what you say to people, words have a way to hurt people, they can save or end a life, make people loose self-esteem. So be careful because no one wants to be the reason someone is upset, the truth is no one does, they may act like they do but they don’t. Really they’re the one’s that’ll feel bad. Don’t stay silent, no problem is too small or too big, tell someone!

Okay, so that’s it for this week…hope that has helped or at least related to someone I keep opening up to the internet, it’s quite scary aha. Have a good week! Keep smiling!

– Alison xx

You are not alone.

I was bullied when I was in primary school, I also got bullied in secondary. In primary school my dad was dying in hospital and I was getting bullied by this one girl. I kept telling my mum who was telling the teachers and they kept telling this one girl off. It never worked. I was already in a very vulnerable place at that moment in time, the last thing I needed was this girl harassing me. Eventually the teachers brought her mother in and had a word with her and also my teacher at the time had a private word with the girl that was doing it. I honestly don’t know what the teacher said but it worked. She left me alone. I was so relieved and felt like a weight had been lifted. I will always be thankful to that teacher. If you are getting bullied keep telling someone they will have to listen eventually and it will get better I promise! In secondary I got bullied because of my weight and because I was tall, I mean how was I supposed to control my height? Obviously you can’t! I had a word with the year head and it got sorted immediately. But I was also fortunate because I had family at the school who stuck up for me because they knew the people doing it and for that I’m forever grateful. If you are getting bullied tell someone you need to. You are not alone. They’re are people to support you. If you feel like you can’t speak to someone in person you can ring The Samaritans anonymously and they will give you advice on what to do. –Chloe

Sticking up for myself…

So today I finally stuck up for myself, I thought I’d write about it as I’m quite proud of myself to be honest.

So at break time, my friend’s and I were chilling, sharing crisp’s, a boy in my year decided to call me fat and walked straight past but his friend said hi and I replied. I got told that he only said something cause I’m vulnerable and wont bite back, this kind of annoyed me, so I decided to confront him about it and said that if he had something to say to say it to my face instead of walking past. At the time he was half way through walking through a door and I didn’t think he’d come back but he did. He stood by the door trying to intimidate me. I told him straight.

Turn’s out people don’t like it when you confront them and tell them the truth. I said that if he find’s it funny calling someone fat he should find something better to say. People seriously need to realise that bullying someone does not make them seem like the “big man”, that’s what I said today and he didn’t like that because he knew that I was right. I said how he’s just a bully and needs to find something better to do. They don’t like it when they know secretly that your right. He didn’t know what to say so he just stared at me, I told him to take a picture because it last’s longer.

My friend’s found it funny, none of them have seen me stick up for myself before and I honestly didn’t know I had it in me. No one expects me to say anything back, they know I have it in me, it’s just me finding my confidence. One of my best mates walked past and knew what I was doing, he seemed quite surprised that I actually said something, usually I wouldn’t but I’m kind of fed up with people bullying me and calling me names. Their the reason I have no confidence in the first place, people put me down and I believe them which then ruins my confidence.

But yeah, if this happens to you, depending on who you are and what your like, ignore them or you can confront the person, being honest though it’s probably best if you don’t confront them, I only did it today to see what would happen, I mean I’m use to being bullied and it’s not like their going to do anything worse than they already do, it does bother me, yes, but I’m use to it and if I show that I’m not bothered what they say then hopefully they’ll get bored.

Bullies don’t like it when you confront them, especially if your right and it’s in front of one of their best mates. What made it even better was that I got told people were proud of me for sticking up for myself. I don’t care if he goes around spreading things about me and calling me rude and different names because I’m use to it, not from him but from other people so it’ll just add to it which doesn’t really bother me. I’m not saying that it won’t hurt me because I know it will but I’ve got a great support system and that’s what makes it better. The good things balance out the bad.

I just wanted to say thank you to all the support I have got today, it means a lot to me. Honestly, with what I did today that made me feel so much better, it just shows that my confidence is starting to build up again.

Oh and thank you to the boy that decided to call me fat today because now I’ve had another thing to write about on my blog  

Have a good day, remember words do hurt so be careful what you say  

– Alison xx