Bullying and exams aren’t the best combination in the world…

Hey guys! So this week I’m going to be writing about exams and how last year I was bullied right through the exam period, it was not fun. I’m writing about this topic because it’s exam season and today I finished my 4th exam out of 5. Last year, if I could have read something along the same lines as this, I think it would’ve made my situation so much better. It’s difficult when you don’t know what to do and your super stressed at the same time too…

So last year, right before my English exam, I was walking down the school alley, I ended up getting stones thrown at me… I didn’t know what to do so I just carried on walking till I got to the exam hall. It stressed me out, I was so nervous already and that situation just added to the nervousness, it also upset me a lot as well. I couldn’t think before the exam because everything kind of just froze. I don’t know if that makes sense or not… Sometimes you have these moments when something has just happened or something is happening and time just freezes, it’s like your not really there but you can see and hear what is happening in the situation. I don’t know if that happens to anyone else…

Right before my art exam I ended up getting pushed off my bike, all my art stuff that I was carrying ended up on the floor. It upset me and I didn’t really want to go to the exam after that… But I did, of course I did, why am I going to miss my exams just because I’m frightened of a few people..? I’m not.

I didn’t know what to do, I’m always being told that if I have a problem to tell someone but then in my head I was thinking about it. I only had a few weeks of school left, there would be no point. Nothing would be done about the situation and even if it was, did it matter that much? It was just a few more weeks…

I told my friend and he said I should tell someone, so I told my dad. As you can imagine he wasn’t too pleased. I had a few weeks left of year 11 and I was still being bullied by the same people. It happened in the exam season as well, so that made it even worse than it already was.

I was so nervous already with exams, I got nervous walking down the school alley and down the hallways… I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t leave me alone, I didn’t do anything so I didn’t understand what I did to deserve it, I still don’t…

If you are in the same kind of situation, no matter what year you are in, whether you are taking exams or not, PLEASE DO tell someone, whether the person you tell is your best friend, parent or teacher, just tell someone. You will feel ten times better afterwards. You never know what could happen next, the person that you tell could really help your situation, they could tell someone who can do something about it or they might confront the people doing it and get it to stop.

I felt so much better after I told my dad, he sorted everything out for me and the problem was solved in a few days so although I still worried when walking down the school alley, I eventually figured out that they were going to leave me alone.

This post kind of links back to last weeks post, you don’t know what’s going to happen unless you tell someone what is going on. My dad always says to me that he can’t help me if I don’t tell him what is going on. “My crystal ball isn’t working this week so I’m afraid I don’t know what’s happening until you tell me.” That’s what he always says to me.

Just wanted to finish this post  by saying good luck with the rest of the exams that everyone has left!

Thank you for all the support, as always, you guys are amazing! Also thank you for all the encouragement over these past two weeks, I’ve been getting little messages here and there saying good luck, so thank you so much, it really does mean a lot. Hope everyone has a great week! Much love – Alison xx

Today I was blindfolded!!!!

Hey guys! So this week I was going to write about something completely different but then something really interesting happened so I decided I’d write about this instead!

Today I was blindfolded!!! It was terrifying!! I was defiantly out of my comfort zone. So there’s this line and on one side you’re really comfortable (So you’re in your comfort zone) and then on the other side of the line you’re out of your comfort zone. I was 10 billion miles away from the line of me being in any way comfortable. I was so scared!

Over the past few months I have been going to this course (You guys will hear about it soon!!) and today I went to it again. We got told that we were going to do a trust exercise, which at first I thought would be fine. We didn’t get told what the exercise was, just that we were going to do a trust exercise. My first thought was that it was going to be fine because I could be paired with my best friend. However, I got paired with someone completely new (Probably the whole point of the exercise).

If I had to describe how I felt at the very moment that we got told we were going to be blindfolded, I couldn’t tell you. Let’s just say, nervous was an understatement. I was in my comfort zone when in the room but at that very moment, any confidence that I had, it just went flying out the window. I was terrified!

All I was thinking was “I’m going to trip, people are going to laugh…”. Surprisingly I was fine though, I didn’t trip!!! As some of you know, I’m a very clumsy person, I trip over my own feet, I’m so skilled in being clumsy that I can trip over absolutely nothing! It’s great! If there was an A Level in tripping I would ace it!

Back to the point of this post…

We had to walk across a field to the end of the field so that we could get to the gate so we could swap the blindfold with the other person. At first it was my turn to lead and make sure that the person I was helping didn’t trip and that she was safe. It was great, she didn’t trip and we successfully got to the end of the field without any injuries!

Then it was my turn…

I didn’t want to not take part, even though I was dreading it, it’s something new that I can say I tried and hopefully do successfully.

From things that have happened in the past I find it really difficult to trust people and I defiantly don’t trust as many people as I used to. I worked out that you have to be careful with who you trust because anyone could drop you at any point in life. Knowing that makes it difficult to trust people.

But any way, the gate was opened and I got told to put the blindfold on. It was so scary! I probably looked like a zombie with my hands out in front of me. I felt like I was going to walk into anything at any moment, It could have happened!

Imagine having to put your trust in someone you have known 5 weeks… It’s quite difficult, especially when you could fall on the floor. I had to walk from the gate across a stone path to a patch of grass and then onto another stone path. It’s not really that long of a distance but it’s a lot longer when you can’t see it. I successfully got to the gate without tripping or falling! I felt a lot better after I knew I had done it. It was a new experience and was defiantly worth doing it even if it was terrifying at first.

The message of this post is to tell my readers that even if you don’t want to do something, whether that’s because your scared or because you don’t want to look like a fool, you should still try to do it, you will feel better for it after. It’s one of the best feelings in the world because you feel as if you have accomplished something. You wouldn’t feel like that if you didn’t try it in the first place. It’s always worth a try to if you don’t enjoy it or if it doesn’t do anything that will impact you positively then it’s simple, just don’t do it again. I know that if I hadn’t of done the activity then I would never have tried it. It’s made me feel more confident about doing new things.

It’s the same with doing things at school I suppose. If you don’t walk past that big group of people who pick on you, with your head held high, then you are probably never going to do it. It’s that thing where you have to force yourself to do something even if you really don’t want to… Does that make sense?

Any ways, that’s it from me this week. This was quite interesting to write about and it was quite interesting to take part in, it’s defiantly not something you can take part in every single day. Best of luck to everyone doing their exams! Much love – Alison xx

50th Blog Post!!! Thank you so much for all the support!!!

Hey guys! So this weeks post is very exciting for me to write. It makes a change from last weeks post since this weeks post I’m actually happy to post about. It’s my 50th post on my blog!!! Ahhh! It’s so exciting! I wouldn’t have written this many posts if it wasn’t for the ones that support me day in and day out. So thank you!

This weeks post is filled with so much positivity. It’s dedicated to all my amazing followers and people who read my blog! You guys are awesome and honestly you don’t know how much this means to me! Your all so amazing! The support is so great and writing this blog has helped me with so much, you will never really know how much it means to me.

I thought since this post is dedicated to you guys, I’m going to post some of my favourite comments and messages that I have got. There’s quite a few, I did screenshot them at first but then realised that there were too many screenshots. All of the positive comments that I get really do mean a lot to me, they make me so happy!!!

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve come so far in life, your blog is so inspiring. Love you xx”

“Your just getting better and better Hun”

“Love your blog posts so much, well done!!”

“Well done Ally!!!! Proud of you girl!!”

“Proud of you baby girl, your the best xx”

“This is truly inspirational Alison, so is everything else that you write on your blog x”

“Love your blog! Read it every time you upload a post”

“Life gets better hun, keep it up xx”

“Good for you, I’m not as kind as you, I would shame all of them”

“Keep your chin up high, f**k what people think cause you’re beautiful.”

“Really proud of you x”

“It’s sad that cyber bullying still exists. Powerful blog.”

“A powerful post against bullying – Don’t let them get at you for it!”

“You have a right to tell your story”

“Bullying happens simply because of jealousy, that’s all and that’s the end of story. Don’t let it ruin your life you deserve better. Anyway, I nominated you for the Liebster Award.”

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These are just a few of my favourite comments, that made me so happy. The thing about writing on a blog is that everyone can see it and knowing that so many people like what I’m writing means so much to me. Honestly it makes me so happy!!

The support I get is amazing, it’s helped me so much. When I’m in situations where a few years ago I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, I know that I can deal with it better than what I used to and that I can help people with what I’m experiencing. It makes me feel so much better.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments!

Massive shout out to my friends that always text me the same hour as the blogs go up, it makes my day. You mean so much to me. Love you guys xx

Also thank you to my dad for always supporting me no matter what, I love you, your my inspiration.

Okay, so that’s it from me this week. Thank you so much for all the support, it means more than you will ever know! New blog post next week! Have a great week! Also, for those that have exams this week and next week, good luck!! Much love – Alison xx

It’s my voice and YOU can no longer keep me quiet.

Hello all you beautiful people who read my blog. This weeks post is pretty self-explanatory as you can see from the title. I didn’t post anything last week because I wasn’t well but I believe that this post will make up for that. Any ways, here goes…

I owned up to a few things in my last post so this week I am going to write about them I suppose. Write about it and move on, that is how this works. I will most likely never forget it but I will move on, I will never let a bully take over my life ever again. I made that mistake before.

When in primary school, I was kept quiet easily by bullies. I didn’t realise they were bullies at first. I got told that no one would believe me if I told them what happened. Although evidence said otherwise…

I got cornered in the playground at least twice a week and I would get punched and kicked. I didn’t know what to do and there was no way I could escape, it wasn’t just one or two people it was a group. They wouldn’t bruise me where it was visible to everyone else. I’d have bruises on my legs or stomach and arms, I always wore a jumper and trousers so no one saw them…

When my dad first asked where the bruises came from, I told him I tripped or that a football hit me. At first I think he believed me, it was believable, but eventually bruises fade although mine didn’t, it was one bruise after another and another. I eventually told him the truth after a while of it going on.

When it stopped I thought it was over but they would do other things to hurt me, they wouldn’t hurt me physically but mentally. They would make sure that I was upset every single day…

There was one time in secondary school when I got yogurt tipped over me because they found it funny… So many things have happened, I’ve had stones thrown at me, I’ve been punched and kicked on the way home from school, I’ve been pushed off my bike into a road, and I’ve had someone become my friend then confront me in front of loads of people just so I could be humiliated.

I used to carry around so much weight on my shoulders but now I feel okay again. Writing about it is helping. I used to be scared to walk around school but today I felt better about it, not everyone that I cross in my life is going to be mean. I just have to think positively. Not everyone is going to make me into a joke…

My point is, I now have a voice and you will not keep me quiet. I’m not going to let anyone control the way I feel or what I do. I quit social media a few weeks ago because what I was being sent was hurting me. I’m not going to let it any more. I’ve changed my tune… I have been getting anonymous comments on my blog with hateful things written in them, I have got one comment every single day for the past two weeks from different groups of people and I’m sick of it.

Someone once said to me that if I wanted things to change I would have to change my tune. So here’s what I am going to do. Each time I get a hateful comment I am going to name and shame that person. I didn’t want to do it before but with exams coming up and just life in general, I do not need the hateful comments. At least if you are going to send me hateful comments, grow up and be mature enough to not be anonymous. I am sick and tired of being hated on. Don’t like me? Don’t speak to me, it’s not that difficult. No one likes a bully.

I know why people like you do things like this, you want to wind me up and upset me, well it worked. I’m not going to let it work any more.

I must thank you though, I really do admire you. People like you make so much effort to bring me down. It’s cute that you still try even after I thought some people had matured. I’ve got to apologise though. I’m happy, I always have been an unexplainable bundle of joy, once I’m happy it’s not easy to bring me down and comments on my blog are no longer going to bring me down. So keep trying. I admire that. I admire that you don’t give up. But some day, you will realise that I don’t care any more, maybe that’s why I don’t reply to your comments, although I suppose you never thought about that. I’m doing me, I’m not going to let anyone bother me any more. It’s about time you do you and grow up. Once you leave school or college you’ll realise that you’re just a small fish in a big ocean like the rest of us. Hopefully you won’t have to experience what I have because it’s not nice.

This is my voice, don’t like what your reading or hearing? Don’t read it or listen to me, it really isn’t that difficult.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this, it means a lot. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I’m going to carry on writing blog posts no matter what, it doesn’t matter how much hate I get, I’m not stopping something I enjoy doing just because you don’t like me or what I’m doing. That’s your problem, not mine. I have also decided that I am going to quit my ban from social media, why should I stop what I’m doing because of people like you? I’m not going to.

Also a massive thank you to my dad, I don’t know what I would do without you. Love you lot’s.xx

Okay, so that’s it from me this week, new post next week! Thank you for all the support. Much love – Alison xx