Hey guys, so about two months ago now, I asked for some inspiration or ideas of what to write about. A lot of the suggestions were about mental health during lockdown and mental health in general (which I ain’t going to cover just yet). My last post was in April, I said I was going to be posting a lot more and writing a lot more, I only really did one of those things. Don’t ask me why, I know I had the free time, but I honestly couldn’t tell you why I didn’t post. I wrote a lot though (productivity 101).
Lockdown has been harsh on people’s mental health. It has been and still is, a really weird time to live through. I found that I spent most of my lockdown reading and writing, but also sleeping a lot and just wasting my time in general. There were productive days, but also some not so productive days. A few weeks in to lockdown and I was talking to a friend about how annoyed I was with myself for not using my time more wisely, and she said to me, “It’s a weird time right now, the world has come to a stand still, you don’t have to be productive everyday during a PANDEMIC.” She was 100% right. I didn’t waste all of lockdown, when I think about it, I didn’t really waste any of it. We need to have selfcare days, we need to have days when we just chill. It’s okay to spend all day reading a book or watching movies, maybe not every day – but as she said, who cares, we’re living through a pandemic, there is no rulebook for this kind of thing. And if there is, someone needs to send it to me. Please.
What a weird time, hey? I found myself relaxing more during lockdown, I wasn’t rushing around to get things done, I didn’t have to spend my weekends wisely anymore – everyone suddenly had a lot more free time. No more rushing around, no more stressing out, it was kind of nice. In a weird sort of way.
As things are slowly going back to a new kind of normal, we should take at least one thing from this: SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT. Your mental health is important and self care has a lot to do with that. I found that before all this happened, I didn’t have a lot of “me” time anymore, I was stressing a lot and always rushing around. But I hadn’t finished reading a book in so long, and I hadn’t watched any movies properly, or did anything that would be considered as looking after myself (self care wise). But during lockdown, I managed to read 4 books, watch a ton of movies, write a few blog posts (not that I actually posted any of them), and spent a few evenings in face-masks (that’s my version of selfcare).
It’s still early days, but I’m going to attempt to do more things for me when I have my days off. I’m trying to read more, whether that’s on my days off or on my lunch break. I’m just trying to take care of my mental health more in general.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve stopped talking to people that are toxic for my mental health, I felt bad at first. (I should probably mention here that they stopped talking to. I noticed that they didn’t put as much effort in anymore, so I did the same, and we ended up not talking at all anymore). But then I realised that no one is more important than what goes on inside my head (I don’t know if that makes sense or if that makes me sound cocky, its not meant to sound cocky.) – Obviously people matter to me, didn’t want it to sound like they don’t. What I’m trying to say is, these past couple of years, I’ve learnt that not all school friendships need to survive if there not good for you. The people that do care about you, will show you, as you show them, this doesn’t mean talking everyday – Cause after school, life starts, people get busy. But it will become clear to you who cares for you and who doesn’t. It’s not worth stressing over the people that don’t, or the people that do things on purpose to upset you – remember, and I know it’s hard to remember sometimes – but your real friends, they won’t make horrible comments about you and try to pass it off as caring about you, your real friends won’t do things that seem toxic.
I know in school it seems that friendship groups are big, but they don’t stay big your entire life – and if they do, congrats, looks like you’ve found a great bunch of people! What I’m trying to say is – Not all friendship groups need to be big. Every person that I have in my life as of now, that I still talk to, their not toxic, and that’s the way it should be. There is no point keeping someone toxic in your life to make them happy, it took me a long time to realise this.
I’m probably rambling a bit, yeah? My main point, toxic people aren’t going to help your mental health and although you may have been friends with them for years, it really is not worth your mental health. Friendships grow apart and two things can happen, you can either be civil and remember the good times but no longer be friends, or you can try and keep that person around you, even though they’ve become toxic for whatever reason. Honestly, I tried the second one, I stayed friends with someone for two years longer than we should have, the friendship grew apart and we should have just left it at that. Instead I found that I was hating every single moment I spent with this person because of how toxic they had become, because of how they treated other people.
I’m defiantly rambling. Toxic people have a negative affect on your mental health. Most people know that – it took me the longest time to realise that and realise who the toxic people were in my life. I found that when I stopped talking to those people and stopped caring about what they thought a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It makes a difference to your mental health, a REAL difference. It also makes a massive difference to your mood, I found myself happier, which sort of says something without having to say anything (if that makes sense).
It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to look after your own mental health, it took me a long time to realise all of this. I don’t even know why it took me so long to realise it.
My other main point of this post is that our mental health in general is SO important, and we need to take more care about it. Work and school are important but so is your mental health. In the past, I have found myself prioritising one or the other, I’d have a deadline coming up and suddenly self care would go out the window. I know it’s not just me that does this, a lot of people put their mental health second or even third to anything in their life, but we need to stop doing that. Our mental health is so so important!
Although, lockdown is sort of (not really) coming to a end, and the new kind of normal is starting to begin properly – We need to remember to prioritise our health, not just our physical health (but that is important too!!) but also our mental health.
Right, I’m going to wrap that up there. I’ve been on a bit of a rant. My main main point: YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT! It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything but I’m going to try and post again soon (fingers crossed). Hope everyone is okay in this crazy, crazy time. Stay safe! Here’s to hoping that things are sort of back to normal soon. Much love – Ally xx