So this week I have decided that I’m finally going to repost my blog post about cyber-bullying. In May last year I had to delete this post from my blog due to getting a load of grief about it and I never really had enough confidence to repost it, but here I am, reposting it, because it’s my blog and I can write what I want.
So I’ve decided that each week I’m either going to have a new topic to talk about or I’m going to talk about my experiences to do with bullying. Cyber-bullying!
Cyber-bullying is such a horrible thing and it really shouldn’t happen to anyone. I remember when I first got Facebook and I use to get horrible messages from people at my school. It was so upsetting. I use to get messages calling me fat and ugly and saying other horrible things that would put me down, it made me hate myself, I wondered why they hated me and what I had done wrong. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t tell anyone I just read the messages which made it worse. I even got messages from people I didn’t really know but they still went to my school, that’s the saddest thing. People that bully people they don’t really know to make themselves feel better, it’s sad.
I used to get asked out as a joke because that’s how sad people are nowadays, they have to try and upset people to have a laugh with their mates. It’s not on and at times it does get upsetting thinking about it. The message to the left isn’t very old, maybe a few months old. I hate how people have to sit behind a screen to make a joke out of someone. Most people won’t understand this picture, they’ll just think it’s a random message and probably that I was a bit harsh but I wasn’t. At school it has gotten that bad that people find it funny to ask people out as a joke and for some girls that lowers their self-esteem, I would know from experience…
Usually the person they’ve sent it to will say yes and then the boy or girl that sent the message will screen shot it and send it to their mates. I know this because it has happened to me in the past. After the person that sent the message has shown their mates they will either try and upset you or they’ll wait until your at your happiest and then humiliate you in front of as many people as possible. I’m not saying this happens to everyone but it may happen to some people as it has happened to me in the past. Some people are that cruel that they will do literally anything to upset someone…
Tip 1: The best thing to do is just ignore it, unless you don’t think their going to humiliate you, it’s best to think about it before you reply though, what’s the person really like? Are they nice to you face to face? Think before you reply or maybe don’t reply at all.
I used to try and kill the person with kindness. After a while they will get bored and hopefully go away or you could just ignore it. Even though their words hurt I still tried to kill them with kindness.
Don’t reply to the messages because it’ll just escalate the problem, ignore it or block the person so they can no longer send you messages!
Looking back at this message is funny, at the time the boy didn’t have a clue who I was, he went to the same school and knew of me but he never actually spoke to me in real life. It’s funny because he tries to be nice to me now but ‘cause I remember what he sent in the past I don’t fall for it, what is the point in being friends with someone that use to cyber-bully me? I know some people say forgive and forget but bullying has scarred me and I will never be able to forgive anyone that has ever bullied me, I’ve made that very clear.
Tip 2: block and report but keep screenshots of the messages just in case!
In year 9 I had a few accidents on my bike and I got sent various messages about taxi’s and van’s because people at my school thought it was funny. Once again I tried to kill the person with kindness but obviously what you should do is show a parent or a teacher or someone you trust, screen shot it and then block and report the person for bullying. People at my school said it was ‘banter’ but it really wasn’t, I got so upset by it. From then on I hated going to school, each day I dreaded going into school, I kept my head down and tried not to get noticed by the people that bullied me. My accident wasn’t funny at all, I could’ve been seriously hurt but most people thought it was funny, it was just another way for people to make a joke out of me and honestly that was really upsetting.
Tip 3: don’t reply to any messages, block and report and tell someone.
At the time the word for ugly was ‘don’. I use to get called it all the time, along with other various names. I will never understand why people find it funny to put others down. It really annoys me that people only bully others to make themselves feel better.
I would get sent messages calling me fat and ugly and then at school some of the people would act normal like they never said anything, although some of the people that sent me things would then carry it on at school, so not only would I be upset at school I would also be upset at home when receiving the messages.
I find it funny how people can sit behind computer screens or phone screens and be the ‘big man’ to make others feel bad about themselves. Honestly what is the point? I don’t understand how someone can get that bored that they have to be horrible to others. When I got sent these messages I got so upset, the first thing I did was show someone and they told me to ignore it, so I did, I got screenshots of the messages and kept them as evidence just in case, but then that was it I ignored the rest of the messages. People should be kind online, what’s the point of being horrible? Your not going to achieve anything in life by bullying others. People should think before they post or send things to others!
Tip 4: be careful what you send others, don’t be the bully!
For the people that know me well or even know me only a little bit, they know that I hate being told that people hate me, that’s why people often sent me messages telling me they don’t like me and that they hate me. They used to send me long paragraphs about what they hated about me and it use to make me overthink what they were saying, sometimes I would actually believe them, I would read the messages over and over again until I had convinced myself that they only said it because it must obviously be true, this didn’t help my self-esteem or my confidence at all and it wasn’t very healthy for me to keep reading the hate over and over again. It wouldn’t just be messages though, I would have people say the same things to me at school, it was horrible.
This is another example of what I got sent. Cruel and unusual punishment as I used to call it. No one should have to go through getting sent horrible messages. The messages that I got sent lowered my self-esteem and my confidence and I hate how I didn’t ignore them.
When your getting bullied at school face to face with someone it is difficult to ignore someone but when your getting cyber-bullied and it’s messages, it’s easier to ignore because you can choose not to open the messages. I know it’s sometimes difficult because your curious as to what they have said but you are most likely better off not replying to the messages.
How to stop a Cyber-bully:
1. Block the person bullying you
There will always be a way to stop the bullying, if you block the person they can stop getting through to you on social networks, mobile phones, messaging apps and even games. Look at the privacy or safety settings of the service you are using to find out how to block the person, or you can always try searching ‘block’ or ‘abuse’ in the help section. When receiving horrible text messages you can ring up your service provider or network provider who can help you block the bully.
2. Keep the evidence
Make sure you save or copy any cyber bullying such as texts or conversations you receive so the necessary people (teachers, etc.) can investigate the bullying. A good way to do this is to press the ‘PrtScrn’ button on the right hand side of the keyboard which prints the screen and you then copy and paste this into a word document or try using window’s ‘snipping tool’.
3. Online friends
Remember when you accept someone as your friend on instant messaging or social networks, they can access information and pictures you have posted so make sure you are happy for them to see this.
4. Report it
Any cyber bullying you suffer should be reported. Whether it is nasty comments, a text message, online chats or group bullying, it is still bullying and is not ok. Make sure you report it to an adult you trust. It is important you feel supported and someone else knows what is happening. If you have blocked the person but it is still continuing, all social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Bebo, Ask.FM, etc. have report abuse buttons, as do most mobile phone networks who have teams to deal with abuse. Games consoles also have advice on their websites. All service providers have a duty to make sure their users feel safe.
5. Don’t reply or answer back
Don’t become a cyber bully yourself, deal with the bully by blocking and reporting the abuse. It is sometimes hard not to write back, but it is always best to ignore, block and monitor the situation.
6. Be the best version of yourself online
Don’t send horrible messages, you will turn into the cyber-bully.
Cyber-bullying sometimes leads to suicide, do you really want to be the reason someone kills themselves? Think about that next time you send a message or before you bully someone. Suicide is such a horrible thing, I was reading a article the other day and it said something like 1 in 10 people that get cyber-bullied end up committing suicide. That’s such a horrible thought. Cyber-bullying shouldn’t happen and it’s sad that it does. Stop the hate and be kind to one another! Be helpful not hurtful
I just wanted to finish this post by saying thank you for all the support I’ve been getting through this blog, it means a lot to me knowing that I’m helping people and making a difference. Thank you for the choice of topic this week, I’ve been getting different suggestions all week from different people. Also, thank you to the people that have been emailing me, tweeting me and messaging me on Facebook, with different questions and things they want me to write about. It really helps me, so thank you! I hope this encourages more people to send me questions and stories, I don’t bite honestly, all I want to do is help people.
After correcting some things and kind of rewriting this post, I actually feel a little bit more confident about posting this. I mean it doesn’t really matter if people do send me hate about my blog because I know that I’m doing good.
That’s it for this week! Thanks for reading and there shall be a new post up next week! Thank you! Much love – Alison xx