GRADES SHOULD NOT MATTER.

Hey, guys! So two weeks ago I collected my A Level results and a lot of people collected their AS Level results. A week ago, it was GCSE results day and a lot of people went to go collect their results.

I know I haven’t posted in a while – I’ve been busy (I know, shocker). But I thought I’d post a short blog post as last week someone gave me the inspiration to write this but I didn’t really get around to it. So since I have found the time to write I thought I would share my thoughts on the grading system and all sorts of other things related to grades, results day, schools, sixth forms, colleges, universities and jobs!

So when you want to get into sixth form, college, university or even get a job, a majority of the time you need good grades to show for it so that you get accepted. I know everyone already knows this but I think it should be done differently. I know some might disagree with me but then again it’s just my opinion. If you’re going to be rude in the comments just click off the tab now, I don’t mind other people’s opinions – in fact, it’s great, it starts a conversation, but don’t send hate. It’s easy not to do 🙂

– Going off course of what I’m talking about but it all links –

I don’t know about you but when I look at someone it’s more about what kind of person they are rather than looks. I know for a majority of people it’s the same. Well, I think it should be the same when sixth forms, colleges, universities or jobs pick you to study there / do the job.

– Wait –

I think that a majority of the time it probably should be about what kind of grades the person has got but sometimes it shouldn’t be. For example, I suck at exams, no matter how hard I try or how much I revise, I really struggle with exams, it’s already public knowledge that I do as most of the time I had to ask friends for help when it came to exam content.

I’m good at coursework, I work hard on it, and if someone were to look at what I do outside of school and the type of person I am then they would see that I do a lot of voluntary work and all I can to help others (If I can help someone then I will).

My point is, I think getting onto a course or getting a job should be like looking for someone to date, instead of looking at their looks (the grades), they should look and see what the person is really like (how hard they work, their extra curricular activities).

At the end of the day, a lot of people get let down by how exams went (not because of how hard they worked but because of their exams – everyone stresses with exams and sometimes the stress causes more problems for some than others).

My point – It shouldn’t matter about grades, it should matter how motivated someone is and how badly they want something – whether they are going to work hard for it or not.

Fair do’s for those that can do exams and get good grades – well done! It’s just that some may not be able to and so it shouldn’t always be looks over what they’re really like. I know a lot of people work really hard for exams and pass – I’m not saying I don’t. It’s just my opinion.

Okay, so that’s it for the mean while. Until next time, have a good week, keep smiling, and think about things before you say them – if it’s not helpful or kind then is there really any point in you saying it? If it doesn’t benefit others what’s the point of saying it? Hope you enjoyed reading, share this post if you agree (maybe, up to you :)). – Stay strong and stay positive. Much love – Ally xx

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Let’s talk about this new Sahara social media app…

Hey guys, so Friday night I got the motivation to write about something that really bugs me.

Now, if you’re a teenager you’ll probably know about this new Sahara app. For anyone that doesn’t know, “Sahara (Sarahah) is a Social Communication Application to Send or Receive Honest Anonymous Feedback.” It’s basically a copy of Ask.FM. For anyone that doesn’t know what that it is pretty much the same sort of thing. Except for with Ask.FM there was a feed where anyone could see what was written to you and people could choose whether they were anonymous or not when writing a message, you could also choose whether you wanted to reply to these comments as well. With Ask.FM the concept was more to ask questions whereas with this new app it is used to “send or receive honest anonymous feedback.”

A lot of people I know have got this new app and a lot of them are screenshotting what they get sent and putting it up on their Snapchat or Instagram, which is all good and well. It doesn’t bother me. Some of the things being sent to these people are really lovely and it’s all anonymous so you have to try to figure out who sent what, which is kind of fun. I think it’d be a really good idea if that’s how it was used all the time.

However, last night one of my friends screenshotted some hate that they got sent and replied to it on their story.

So here’s what you’re probably thinking – Why are you writing about this? No one cares.

I care.

So my friend got sent a long anonymous message claiming that she is an “overweight fat gay little sh*t who deserves everything that’s happening to her…” That everyone “hates” her, that she’s “annoying and ugly”, that she should go and kill herself so that she does “everyone a favour”. Along with some other personal things that I’m not going to write. It was horrid and NO ONE should have to read that. It really boiled my blood.

Here was my reply when my friend put it up on her Snapchat story. “Don’t listen to whoever that horrible person is. I’m actually shocked, this is horrible. You are loved by so many people, you are hilarious and happy! You make everyone happy even when you’re not feeling 100%. You’re not even fat. Who cares about size anyway? I mean if your happy then do you xxx”

It really bugged me that someone would actually write what they did so I continued to write. It’s the best way for me to get out what I want to say.

I know how she felt and that really angered me, no one deserves to feel rubbish because 7F620462-1898-4222-96A4-7F5B19A28607of some anonymous bully. It bugs me a lot.

“I hate bullies so much. We’re living in a time where E V E R Y O N E should be accepted no matter who / what they are / what they look like. I don’t understand how anyone can hate as much as some people. it makes no sense to me. your hating on someone who personally makes me very happy, like just her/his whole mentality and positivity puts a smile on my face. After having a rubbish day at school I’d go to volunteering and see how positive she was and it WOULDN’T MATTER what had happened at school that day. It just gets me so mad. They’ve done nothing wrong and never hurt anyone. It goes for everyone though, to be honest, no one should be bullied and it really boils my blood. No one should be made to feel worthless or useless or unwanted, it’s just WRONG. I don’t understand how people can’t see that when they say these horrible things. Bullying needs to stop. How many lives do we need to lose before we realise that?!”

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“Send me whatever you want. I will never agree to bullying, NEVER. in my mind, it will never be right. I’ve been bullied, I’ve lost people because of bullying. it makes me so mad. if you’re someone who thinks it’s right or just a joke, delete me.”

When Ask.FM first came out, everyone I knew had this app, so I got it too, thinking that it would be a bit of fun. Sometimes it was, I’d get funny messages from friends and have to guess who it was from, which was all good and well. But when there’s something positive there always seems to be something negative right behind it.

I got sent hate, I was sent horrible things by people in my year and a few people who didn’t even know me personally, it was just for their amusement. Speaking out about it a few years later a few of my so-called “friends” said that they had sent some of the horrible messages. That ruined me. I thought I had a good group of people behind me, supporting me through whatever came my way. I never thought that they would be the ones to cause the upset. The best part of their honesty? They said it was just a joke and had hoped that it hadn’t affected me much, although they already knew that it had affected me a lot.

The amount of school I missed due to being sent hate was unreal, I didn’t want to leave the house let alone go to school and sit with people or even see people who had been sending me hate. Who would want to do that?

I got told to go kill myself a lot, that was one of the most popular things said to me. The other most common comment was that people were calling me fat. I’d been told to go get hit by vehicles – the comment related to two accidents I had in the past. I’d been sent the most horrible things, you name it and it was probably in my feed. As Ask.FM had a profile for each person where people could see what was sent to them, everyone could see what people had been saying to me and because of this, some people fed off it and sent me more hate.

My point of this post? Don’t say things to people who you wouldn’t want to be sent to you.

Typically the people who sent me hate and to the person that sent my friend hate, they’re all cowards. Keyboard warriors if you like. (A keyboard warrior is a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the Internet, typically one who conceals their true identity). They don’t have the guts to say something to someone’s face and that is actually quite sad, in fact, I feel sorry for them. They have to feed their ego off of making people feel like rubbish without using their true identity. Kind of sad if you ask me.

Okay, so to sum this post up. Be kind, treat people how you want to be treated. Don’t send people abuse online, don’t be a keyboard warrior. There is no need for bullies in this world and quite frankly if you are sending hate over a phone or a laptop, you’re one of the worst kinds of bullies, a cyber bully.

Think about it this way, before you press send. Would you want your little brother or little sister to read that to themselves and then feel useless or rubbish about themselves? I’m hoping your answer is no, in which case, don’t send hate to someone online.

You are all wonderful and amazing human beings who don’t deserve to be sent hate or feel rubbish about themselves because of someone who feels that about themselves. Why do you deserve to feel the raft of someone else’s pain? The truth is you don’t!

So that’s it for this blog post. Hope you enjoyed reading, share this post if you agree (maybe, up to you :)). Have a good week, be kind and don’t spread hate. Behave towards others how you would want your younger siblings to be treated. Much love – Ally xx

What does the word “Retard” actually mean? Do you actually know?

Hey guys! I’m back, its been a while since I last posted (a while meaning nearly two months – Oops…). I’ve been a little busy with exams (etc.) but I’m finally freeeee!!! I’m working on a project at the moment as well as trying to blog but I’m excited to tell you guys what the project is – it should be live in around a month or two, I’m so happy with how it is going at the moment. There are so many good things lined up for the next couple of months for me and I’m honestly so happy and excited, but of course there are a few nerves. I’m sure I will talk about it all soon.

But for now and the next few times that I post I want to get blog posts out of my drafts and onto my blog, there are so many unfinished blogs in my drafts its unreal but I couldn’t be happier to share them with you guys. This is my space and I am so excited to share all my ideas with you guys.

Okay, here goes, this idea came to me after an incident at school – in fact it’s happened quite a few times since I have left. I know I should start to get over what happened at school but for me everything big that happened there has effected me somehow and therefore I am going to write about it until something different happens or until I feel better about what happened (better isn’t the right word but I’m hoping you understand what I mean).

So I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced this (I know most have but maybe some have been fortunate not to), but for some odd reason some people seem to use the word retarded where it doesn’t make sense and it really seems to bug me – I don’t really know why – I don’t know if it’s because I wouldn’t do it but I’m not 100% sure why it does bother me.

“That’s so retarded.” – “Your so retarded.” – “You retard.”

There’s this boy that I used to talk to and he said it once, since then we haven’t spoken, I may seem uptight because of this but then again he did say it about my brother.

If you know me personally, you will know that my brother is my world and anything that bothers him bothers me as well. You don’t even need to know me personally to know that my brother means a lot to me – it doesn’t take me long to start talking about my brother with someone new.

He is so special to me – it’s really strange because I see some of my friends with their siblings and all they do is fight or argue, or they hate each other, which doesn’t really make sense to me. I’m not really sure why, it just doesn’t make sense.

Back to why this word annoys me out of context. I have had a lot of things said to me about my brother, “Your brother is so weird and retarded” – in what way does that sentence sound okay coming out of someone’s mouth? I don’t know about you but I find that really rude and quite frankly its quite offensive.

My brother is not a retard, he is no different from you. – Oh except he is, he is so much nicer, he is kind and thoughtful and wouldn’t do anything to hurt another person. He certainly would not say that about someone else.

The definition of the word retard: “Delay or hold back in terms of progress or development.”

That is all it means, it isn’t a group of people. You are lucky that you don’t have a disability – you are lucky that you don’t have things holding you back. Although I guess you’re not because I wouldn’t change my brother for anything, he is so special and kind and just so wonderful but he certainly isn’t retarded. Just because someone has a disability does not mean that they are retarded.

The word is unnecessary. I know some may use it as a joke but honestly – it puts me off even speaking to someone who I have heard use that word. That may seem weird or silly but why would I want someone like that around my brother, I wouldn’t.

So yes, if it isn’t already clear and I haven’t said it yet, I don’t like the word, it’s a horrible word that people use when they don’t understand and don’t want to understand someone who is disabled – or maybe their just saying it to their mate.

So next time your about to use that word – if you even do use this word – think about it before you speak, is it nice? Is it true? Is the person going to benefit from you saying it?

I just don’t really understand why people use that word and think its okay – it doesn’t make sense to me.

Okay, so I guess that’s it until my next blog post. I don’t know when that’ll be, I need to work out when I’m going to post and what I’m going to post. But until next time, have a good week, keep smiling, and think about things before you say them – if it’s not helpful or kind then is there really any point in you saying it? If it doesn’t benefit others what’s the point of saying it? – Stay strong and stay positive. Much love – Alison xx

Final Day of Little Heath School after 7 years!

Hey guys, so today was my last official day of Little Heath School, I have 4 more exams18721066_1363148933753329_745140083_o and then I am finished, I will only have to go back to school twice more after that to collect my results. The thought of that makes me so happy! I am currently writing this while sat in a pub with 3 of my best mates. Although by the time I post this I will probably be sat at home…

I have gone to Little Heath for 7 years… That’s mad! A very long time! Especially for someone who wanted to leave SO many times… Although I’m kind of glad I stuck around.

So today was my last day, I woke up really happy about it because hey, its my last day!18765351_1363148903753332_1590881053_o Who wouldn’t be happy about that? I was in school until 12 and then went to the pub (Cliché thing to do as A Level students).

All the Year 13s had their final assembly at around 11, it was quite a nice thing to have at the end. One thing did stick out though, during the assembly they said, “I am hoping that you all have fond memories here”, I got nudged and looked at by a few of my friends since they know I haven’t had the best time. Everyone has had their ups and downs, however most people seem to have more good memories than bad. It was quite interesting because when in the pub we were talking about all the good stuff and bad stuff that has happened and a few were surprised that I could remember as much as I did, considering I went all the way back to Year 7 memories.

18721467_1363148910419998_1714702521_oApart from that part of the assembly, I have had one of the BEST days ever, its defiantly one that I will remember forever!

If my day wasn’t already as good as it was there was certainly one person that made my day. I got pulled aside at the get together for the Year 13s in the pub and got told by someone who that they read my blog and that they support what I do because it’s a great thing, that made my day! Its great when I get feedback like that, it makes me so happy. When I get things like that said to me all the hate that I have been sent recently seems to go away because I’m showing the positive side of things by being able to write about it and help others, that seems to make it all worth it.18742607_1363148907086665_107620815_o

So today has been AMAZING, I have had the best day! I am truly feeling blessed to have the people that I do in my life. I have met some awesome people over the past 7 years, who I am sure I will defiantly stay in contact with!

Okay, so that’s it for this post, just thought I would write a little something as I am in a fantastic mood! Hope everyone had a great day and has a good half term! Exams will be over soon – Best of luck! You’ll do great, put in what you want out of it! Most importantly, as my dad always says, try your best because no one can ask more than that. Have a great week! I’m sure there will be a new blog post soon, take care. Much love – Alison xx

“You know why you get bullied? It’s because you ask for it!”

You wrote on my Facebook that I was funny but really weird,

You also wrote that I asked to be bullied and then later said it to my face in front of everyone…

The first part wasn’t the part that bothered me, however the second part I have an issue with…

Do you think I asked to have my long hair cut? Or to be beat up daily?

Do you think I asked to be laughed at whenever I said anything? Or have the threat of having my throat cut?

Do you really think I enjoyed being pushed over that fence? That I enjoyed having people laugh because my leggings ripped and my skirt went up? Or that I enjoyed being tripped up into a muddy puddle for my uniform to be ruined?

Do you think I asked to have yoghurt tipped over me or to have my hair pulled? Or do you think I enjoyed the punching and kicking that went on when I got dragged into a bush?

Do you think I enjoyed having to walk home for 2 hours since my bike tyres were slashed? Or do you think I enjoyed nearly going into a busy road and falling off due to my breaks being cut?

Do you think I enjoyed the abuse I got and still sometimes get online from anonymous people?

Did I really ask for it? Would I ever really ask for this? I know no one else would…

I didn’t ask for the everyday comments, nor did I ask for the torment,

I didn’t ask to be a doormat or a punching bag, I didn’t ask to be used or abused,

I certainly didn’t ask for kindness to be misused, I didn’t ask for the countless nights crying, or the loss of identity,

I didn’t ask to be accepted, I just didn’t ask to be treated like dirt, it’s not that difficult is it? To treat someone how you want to be treated?

Don’t accuse me of asking to be bullied…

Walk a mile in my shoes and ask yourself if I asked to be treated this way..?

I did ask to be treated as a human.

Okay… So here’s a poem (Sort of? Maybe?). My first post in a long time… I was nudged to write something so I wrote this as the post came up on my Facebook memories. For someone who pretends to be my friend now, its funny how just 5 years ago you posted things like this on my Facebook. I didn’t even remember you saying it until I saw it again, funny what memories can bring to someone… For those that have questioned my blog and whether I’m still going to post on it, the answer is yes, it’s just that education is a little (Okay a lot) more important right now.

Good luck to everyone who has started their GCSE’s and AS / A Level exams this week. Remember what I said before, the work that you put in now and have been putting in these past few months will all pay off in August. Good luck(!) and an early congratulations on proving everyone wrong that said you couldn’t do whatever it is that you are doing now. I believe in you, you can do this! As long as you try your best what else actually matters? (The answer is nothing, to be honest…).

Credit to Chloe for giving me the idea to write this and for helping me when I finished it but it didn’t quite sound right. Thank you boo! xx

Until next time, have a good week, stay strong and keep smiling. We’ll see what the next blog post brings, (fingers crossed that its soon!). Much love – Alison xx

World Autism Awareness Week 2017

Hey guys, this week I am writing about World Autism Awareness Week (from 27thAutism-Awareness-Ribbon March to the 2nd April). Anyone that knows me well will know that I support this a lot and that it is something extremely important to me. I have a family member with Autism that means the world to me and most people will know who I’m talking about but for now, I just want to talk about this.

The National Autistic Society define Autism as, “A lifelong, developmental disability that affects how a person communicates with and relates to other people, and how they experience the world around them.” – http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is.aspx 

Some people seem to think that some autistic are stupid and don’t understand simple things, but that is simply not true, I suppose it’s a stereotype and the people who believe it are just being ignorant. Individuals with autism are actually the opposite, they are so smart, they think of things that others wouldn’t. The family member that I am talking about often gets called stupid, but he’s the complete opposite. It was snowing, which meant everyone who just had trainers on ended up having wet socks for the whole day. The family member that I am writing about, took his socks off and put them down the side of a water pipe. How smart is that? I don’t know anyone else that would have thought about it at the age of 8. The water pipe got hot and by break time, he had toasty warm socks to wear, whereas the rest of us just had socking wet socks and cold feet.

We got told that this person would never go to a mainstream school and that’s exactly where he is now. He would “never” be able to hold a conversation or read and write, but they were wrong. He proved them all wrong without even knowing it. His autism does not define him, even if people do define him by his autism.

Thing is, people with autism are still human, there the same as us, they just have a special gift. I wouldn’t trade the person I’m talking about for anyone else. He’s special and although sometimes things are difficult, I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

People also seem to think that individuals with autism feel no empathy or affection, which is complete rubbish. People with autism are humans too. They do have feelings. This is complete rubbish and when I saw an article titled with this I couldn’t believe it, how ridiculous!

Other stereotypes are that they are supposed to be slow and confused but once again this isn’t the case. We all get confused from time to time and if someone actually took the time to explain things, this certainly wouldn’t be a stereotype.

“People with autism should look autistic”. This statement annoyed me so much, what is an autistic person supposed to look like? I know that there are physical symptoms of autism but not every autistic person has them. This is just another example of an ignorant statement that some people may have the nerve to actually say or think.

There’s a video that I want to share, it’s from The National Autistic Society, it shows how some autistic children may experience things. Link: https://youtu.be/Lr4_dOorquQ

This week should have been about how valued and special autistic people really are! They are not the stereotypes that people may think or say, they are human like the rest of us and they deserve respect just like other humans.

Okay so that’s it from me this week. Happy World Autism Awareness Week! Have a good week, stay strong and keep smiling. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Until next time… Much love – Alison xx

This is why I love volunteering!

Hey guys! So this week I decided I’d write about volunteering, I’ve been doing it for a while now but I just really wanted to talk about something that happened.

So for those that don’t know or who I haven’t told, I volunteer for a Young Carers youth club and have been since I was about 14 / 15 years old. I volunteer because I want to help improve the lives of children that do struggle just like I used to. I have been a Young Carer since before I can remember and I believe that my purpose in life is to help those that are just like me and support them like I was supported.

For anyone that doesn’t know, a Young Carer is someone who is aged 18 or under who helps look after a relative who has a condition, such as a disability, illness, mental health condition, or a drug or alcohol problem. Young Adult Carers are young people aged 16 to 25 who care, without being paid for what they do, for a family member or a friend with an illness, disability, mental illness or an addiction. Most Young Carers look after one of their parents or care for a brother or sister.

Two weeks ago I realised just how much I wanted to do this as a career when I finish school, just helping people, that is my goal.

There was a child that was having a hard time and found it difficult to go and socialise with17203639_1280602378674652_1036149254_n the rest of the group. They said they just wanted to go home. So I sat down and tried to talk to her about what the issue was. After half an hour of trying to talk to her and get her to come in with the rest of the group, we ended up sitting around a separate table to those that were together.

I managed to get her to help me colour in a princess door hanger, my excuse was that I’m rubbish at colouring but really wanted to put one on my door. I mean, who wouldn’t want a princess door hanger on their door at the age of 18? She helped me colour it in, although I was so bad that I ended up giving up with the colouring and she had to help me by finishing with colouring it herself.

After a while she finished and wanted to go home again, so I got a box of loom bands (I think that’s what there called) and asked if she wanted to help me make a bracelet. Two boys came in to help me make a bracelet as well. Turns out, they are really difficult to make and it took me an hour just to make one bracelet, the kids managed to get them done within 10 minutes but it took me ages.

My point is, that I managed to help her enjoy herself with somewhere she didn’t want to be, this means a lot to me as I never thought I would be doing things like this. To some it 17203729_1280602372007986_34618952_nmay just sound stupid, getting someone to help me colour and teach me how to make a bracelet but I really enjoyed it and so did she.

Since then, they have taught me how to make so many more bracelets and as they already have some that they have made I now have a ton sat on a shelf. I managed to make someone enjoy something that I didn’t know would work! It changed her mind completely about whether she wanted to be there or not and I am so happy about this!

I guess it’s the small things that count. My point of this post is to just go for it, if you’re not sure if something is going to work or not and it seems like a good idea then just “wing it”, go for it, there is nothing to loose! If it isn’t hurting someone else then try it and if it works you may be surprised whose day you make.

That’s it for this week. Have a good week, stay strong and keep smiling. We’ll see what next weeks blog post brings. Much love – Alison xx

45 Questions / Facts about me…

Hi guys! So this week I’m going to be writing 45 facts about myself and answering some questions within this post. I’ve been meaning to write this post for some time. I thought I’d let you guys get to know me a little bit more. Plus it was a suggestion for a post. Here goes…

  1. Hobbies – My favourite hobbies have to be cycling, reading, photography and writing blog posts.
  2. Favourite memory – Watching my brother choose his first puppy and watching him bond with the puppy, it was amazing to watch, like nothing I have ever seen before.
  3. Most liked superhero – Iron Man, obviously, he’s smart and although he messes up (And nearly destroys the world, whoops), he’s funny and seems to always have a way to make the situation a tiny bit better.
  4. Top 3 favourite films – The Divergent series, Honey, Harry Potter. They are all soo good!!!
  5. Most liked villain – The joker, who else would I pick?!
  6. How do you keep going when everything is sh*t? – My brother helps with a lot of it, if he can tell that something isn’t right, he’ll get my favourite film or Playstation game out and we’ll just watch/play that until I’m feeling a little bit better. My dad also helps me out loads, he talks to me about everything and then gives me positives of the situation. When everything is sh*t you just have to look at the positive side of things, even if it seems like there aren’t any positives.
  7. Most hated superhero – Superman. His weakness is kryptonite… Says it all really…
  8. Favourite song – Currently ‘House of Gold’ by Twenty One Pilots.
  9. Most hated villain – Bane. The thing over his mouth freaks me out.
  10. Favourite Disney Princess – Belle. I used to dress up like her when I was little…
  11. Worst memory – Being told off for sticking up for my brother by a teacher… Siblings are bound to stick up for each other.
  12. Worst Disney Princess – I don’t think I have one…
  13. How do you maintain positivity? – I like making people smile, so if I’m always smiling maybe I can cheer up someone else and make their day, that makes me feel really positive, no matter what is happening to take away my positivity. OR a movie night with my brother!
  14. Best fear you’ve overcame – My fear of horses, I’ll be writing a post about this soon. I was terrified but I’m okay with them now, I don’t want to run away from them – “They’re just as afraid of you, as you are of them”.
  15. One fear you want to overcome in the future – My fear of heights.
  16. How do you spend your spare time – Reading books or playing Playstation games with my brother (Even though I kind of suck at them).
  17. If you could give advice to people who are being bullied, what would you say? – Two years ago when I was asked this question, I said to ignore them, but over the years I’ve realised that that’s one thing that I HATE people saying to me. So what I would say now is to tell someone, a teacher, a parent, a friend, anyone that will listen and keep telling them until they listen and help do something about it. That seems like the best way to deal with bullying, otherwise they just carry on. This whole “Ignore them and they’ll go away” saying, doesn’t seem to work for me… So just tell someone.
  18. Favourite Youtuber – I have so many!! But my favourite is probably Prince Ea, if you don’t know who he is, he owns a channel and he makes the most inspirational videos ever. He honestly seems like the kindest person ever! (I’ll leave a link to his channel, right here: https://www.youtube.com/user/thamagicsho2003).
  19. Someone you look up to – My dad, he is the kindest, most inspirational, thoughtful, positive person I have ever met. He tries to help as many people as he can. When someone tells him something, asking for help, when thinking about it, I have no idea how I could help that person if that was me they were asking, but he is honestly the loveliest person ever, he will give them all their possible options and even if they need more help after that, he will spend ages trying to help them. There is no one I would rather be, than exactly like my dad. That is who I aspire to be, someone as kind and thoughtful as him. (I know your reading this dad, just wanted to say I love you and thank you for everything you do, your amazing!!!)
  20. Favourite band – I have so many, but probably either Twenty One Pilots or 5 Seconds of Summer.
  21. Zodiac sign – I had to google this because I didn’t actually know it, but it’s Virgo. You learn something new every single day!
  22. What’s the meaning behind your blog name? – I’m sorry, I don’t really want to answer this question, but I guess there will be a blog post on it soon, when I’m ready..
  23. Last book you read? – Alligent (From the Divergent Series)
  24. What book are you currently reading? – The first shadow hunters book (Can’t remember what the name of it actually is), it seems so good so far!
  25. What is one of your best moments that you would revisit again? – In Primary School, there’s usually assemblies to reward anyone that has done something good every single Friday. In this memory, it was my brother that was getting rewarded, he got asked a question and got it wrong. This caused everyone to laugh, even those that were sat around me. My dad tells me that he got a phone call from the Headteacher because I was telling everyone to shut up while I was cheering him on. I can’t remember it happening, I remember sticking up for him but I don’t remember all of it. I would defiantly revisit this one, just so I could do it again and be the proud big sister that I am.
  26. How many times have you been to the Young Carers’ Festival? – Twice, both times were really fun!
  27. What is your earliest memory that you can remember? – I remember my brother and me “helping” my dad to paint the house, all I remember was him putting our feet in paint and then lifting us so we could put footprints all over the ceiling, such a good memory!
  28. What is your favourite thing that has happened this year so far? – Becoming more confident with my fear of horses!
  29. What would you change about what’s happened in 2016 so far? – Learn from the mistakes that were made last year and move on when something happens. There’s no point living in the past, especially if things can’t be fixed. Don’t force yourself to fix something that wasn’t your fault, you’ll only end up getting hurt.
  30. One moment that you wish you could have removed yourself from? – Getting involved in things that weren’t anything to do with me, even if a friend needs my help, there’s no point getting yourself in trouble especially if you could have avoided it.
  31. Why do you enjoy writing a blog so much? – I like getting the messages and the texts about how the posts are helping people, I like having people come up to me and tell me it’s helping. It means a lot to me. A blog is so much better than a diary.
  32. Who is your role model? – Demi Lovato. I don’t know if that sounds cliché or not for a teenage girl but she has been my role model ever since I watched Camp Rock and different TV shows on Disney Channel (Probably something I shouldn’t have admitted to, whoops!). Honestly though, she does so much for bullying, she used to be bullied when she was younger. She’s such an inspiring women. She does so many great things that people don’t really know about. She helps teenagers with things like depression, bullying, and all sorts of different factors that they may be going through. She is so strong.
  33. What’s your favourite memory from the Young Carers’ Festival? – I have two favourite memories. My first one is when I was forced to go on this massive wheel by two boys, I was terrified! But after going on it I felt so much better about it, it helped me overcome my fear (Although, I defiantly wouldn’t do it again).
    My second favourite memory is when my best friend encouraged me to go on another ride, you basically sit in this little cart with another person and it goes around really fact and it occasionally moves up and down, it looked so scary! But while going round in the ride she saw that I would rather by anywhere else than on that ride, so she held my hand and tried to hold a conversation with me, it made me feel so much better about what was happening.
  34. Would you ever share your photography on your blog or another social media space? – I don’t know, maybe, it depends if I’d have anything to write about it after.
  35. What do you want to do when your older? – I want to look after little kids, I don’t know exactly what I want to do, all I know is that I want to help improve children’s lives.
  36. You don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want to. But after your bike accident, how did you manage to get over it the way you did? You got pushed down and got right back up again, I watched how you dealt with the accident and all the hate you got for it, I am so proud of you, you are such a strong person! – Thank you so so much, that means so much to me!!! I didn’t really deal with it that well, there were a lot of tears and a lot of times when I wanted leave school, but once I was better again, I got a new bike. That was a good enough reason to carry on and ignore the hate, even if it did hurt a lot.
  37. Is it difficult being a Young Carer? – Sometimes it is, but there are more good days than bad, you always got to look on the positive side of things!
  38. If you could change anything about yourself what would you change? – I’m not meaning for this to sound big-headed, but I wouldn’t change anything. I’m happy with who I am.
  39. You’ve said a few times in blog posts about how you wanted to move away, this isn’t meant to sound rude, but what kept you here? – The amount of times I have wanted to leave because of bullying is ridiculous, literally in years 7 – 9, it was the worst, I asked more than once at least every month. But in year 7, I met some amazing people and after beginning to trust them and spending a lot of time with them, I realised that they genuinely cared about me. Once making friends with a bunch of people, that you know will stay your friend for years, it gets really difficult to leave them behind. I suck at keeping conversations going and making friends too, so I don’t know what I was to expect in a new school with new people.
  40. Why do you think that you can make such a difference in this world? – A friend said to me the other day, that I always have to have hope, even when things seem really bad, to always have hope. I don’t think that I can make a MASSIVE difference but even if I make the tiniest difference to someone’s life, even if it is just one person, then I have succeeded. I must have hope that I can make a difference, even if it is to one person’s life.
  41. If you could say anything to the people who bullied you, what would you say? – Thank you for making me stronger. Even if I did suffer through it, in the end I became stronger.
  42. What would be your superpower? – It’s really dull but I’d love to be able to control the weather, that would be great!!! No more rain, haha
  43. Most emotional song you’ve heard? – Breathe me by Sia. Always seems to make me cry, hahaa
  44. What would be your dream? – That bullying doesn’t exist anymore. A long shot but it might happen one day… Always have hope…
  45. Where do you blog? – Mostly in my bedroom, sometimes in a café, or if I come up with an idea I could be anywhere and just write on my notes page.

This was a really fun post to write, I had to pick 45 out of the 70 questions I got sent, but it was really fun! If we have any similar views or interests, comment below, it would be really cool to see how many people think the same or how they think differently.

Side note: I wrote this 6 months ago, so it’s about time I finally posted it. I checked the email for the blog and social media sites related to my blog looking at the questions, there were so many! Thank you for sending them in, even if they were a little random. I might write another blog post answering different questions soon but we’ll see!

Thank you for all the questions, it took me a while to write this post. Thank you for reading. Stay positive and have hope! Much love – Alison xx

I was promised that you would leave me alone the FIRST time.

Hey guys, so yesterday I got a notification through on Facebook. There’s this app on Facebook that tells you what you posted or what was posted to your Facebook wall, a year ago, two years ago, three years ago and so on. It’s actually quite handy, as much as I hate Facebook because of the grief, I actually love this part of it. It gives me ideas for new blog posts and brings back memories.capture

So yesterday it said that I had posted a new blog post 2 years ago, usually all I would do is share it again but then the memories from what I had written about hit me like a truck. I realised who it was that I was writing about and why I wrote about it in the first place. At the time I was so angry, I remember that night hanging out with friends and I regret how I behaved with them, I was unbelievably angry and surprisingly they all still talk to me despite how I was. I wasn’t angry with them, I was angry that I was still getting bullied. I was in Year 11, I had 3 months left of school and exams were approaching, of course I would be angry. I was trying to succeed yet I wasn’t being left alone.

So here is why I am writing about this. The blog post that I put below is a copy of the one that I put up two years ago yesterday. You’ll see why I’m writing this by the end of this blog post…


Title of post: Bullies.

Link: https://myinsanewxnderlandblog.wordpress.com/2015/03/02/bullies/

Why do bullies bully? What has the person that gets bullied done wrong? I often seem to ask myself these questions and many more questions. The answer is simple – It is often because the bully is insecure about themselves so they pick at other people to see what’s wrong with them, so that their insecurities get picked out and then the bullies insecurities don’t get noticed. It’s almost as if the bullies use other people to mask the real them. The person that gets bullied does nothing wrong, the bully is either jealous or insecure. You haven’t done anything wrong so PLEASE don’t think you have. Your amazing, don’t forget that.

The reason I’m writing this post is because today I got bullied, again. As most people know I love to ride my bike. People also know I’m not one of the skinniest girls in my school and I’m okay with that, sometimes. I used to get told that it’s a good thing that I’m not skinny because people love me for me, I used to believe that but then I think about it and I think about how if people love me for me then why do I get bullied. I guess it is right and you can’t please everyone you meet. But why are people so horrible about it? I really don’t understand the human brain. What human being thinks it is okay to bully other people? Upset everyone around them? Make people feel rubbish about themselves? I really don’t understand it.

It’s a Monday. Way to go, state the obvious Alison. Usually on a Monday I go into school feeling positive and happy, I know that’s a bit weird because as human beings we’re all meant to hate Monday’s but usually I enjoy them. It’s the start of a new week, 7 days of a fresh slate. You have all week to explore, or in my case go to school and learn something new, I love it.

Today was different…Actually today was okay, I enjoyed today and then it got to going home, usually I’m okay and really happy but some year 9’s  decided to have a go. They were chucking stones at me down this ally I have to walk down, I just ignored it, thinking that if they thought I didn’t notice they would stop, but I was wrong, they carried on down the whole ally. I waited at the bottom of the ally for my friends and my brother, I noticed the year 9’s waiting for me. They walked down the path a bit and then stopped, waiting. They formed a line across the road so I couldn’t get passed. (The road doesn’t get used very often in case you were wondering why they were stood in the middle of the road). They done this all the way down the road until we got to the main road, I even said excuse me and they wouldn’t move, they just laughed at me, I thought it was quite polite to be honest, anyone else would’ve had a go at them but I didn’t.

I went up onto the path and waited for my friend, one of the boys that were with the group of year 9’s decided to stand near me and laugh at me. I said to him, “I hope your finding this amusing ‘cause it’s quite funny seeing that people have so much spare time that the only thing they can do is pick on others. I hope your proud of yourself, all you are is a pathetic bully.”

People often laugh when I say things back but I know I’m right. Sometimes they don’t know what to say back though. This time was different though, the boy sort of just stared at me for a few seconds until he said, “It’s pathetic how you don’t try weight watchers”.

I find it quite stupid how people can only comment on my weight though. Can they not think of anything else to say? I mean, they do, it’s not always about my weight but I just don’t understand how they can still be happy with themselves even though they bully others.

It’s like they don’t think before they speak, it’s either that or they don’t care. Which quite frankly is sad and pathetic. Although I suppose it might be their way for them to reach out for help, but it’s not the right way to do it. You don’t know what that person is going through and it might really hurt them, you don’t know the effect you might have on that person. It annoys me, people don’t think before they speak and then we don’t know where that ends up.

Words can end or save lives, so be kind, think before you speak, ‘cause I know just as well as you do that no one wants to be the reason for someone to end their life.

Dated: 2nd March 2015


Now here is another blog post that I ended up writing and posting during July 2016 but in fact it happened in the September of 2015.

Title of post: It’s finally time to talk about the grief I got in September…

Link: https://myinsanewxnderlandblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/its-finally-time-to-talk-about-the-grief-i-got-in-september/

Hey guys, I just wanted to start off this post by saying thank you for the support from last weeks blog post, it means more to me than anyone will ever know. The summer holiday’s are finally here! Yippeee! Since it’s the summer holidays, I wanted to talk about all the grief I got at the start of Year 12 and how I dealt with it because I know a few people who are going through the same sort of thing at the moment.

I have wanted to write about this topic and experience for a while now. I never thought it was the right time to do so, but since it’s the summer holidays and come September it will be a year since it happened, I feel that it’s best to write about it now. Fingers crossed it will help someone, I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to go through the same sort of thing and not know how to deal with it. Hope this helps.

For years, I have wanted to get my hair cut a certain way, I wanted to have one side of my head shaved. Why? Why not, I like the way it looks. I didn’t think it would be an issue. I mean, why would it be an issue? It’s my hair and I can have it the way I want. I didn’t think anything of it, I didn’t actually realise that there would be any grief, I thought it would be absolutely fine. I mean, people get their hair cut, dye it, do whatever they want to their hair all the time, so why would it be any different?

A week before results day I went and got my hair done, I had finally convinced myself that I wanted it exactly the way I thought. So I went to go and get it done. A few days after getting it done, I put a picture up on social media. There were nothing but nice comments about it.

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This is the picture that I posted on social media a few days after getting my hair done.

I then went to collect my GCSE results a week later and yet again, I got a lot of compliments about the way my hair looked. I was absolutely chuffed, it raised my confidence.

Alison, what is your actual point…? Okay, I’m getting there…

The new school year finally started, it was the start of Year 12. We went back to school on my birthday, there still wasn’t a problem, I got told my hair looked nice.

No more than two weeks into sixth form it all started…

I didn’t do anything to provoke what happened. The first time it happened I was in a maths lesson. “She looks like Skrillex”, along with various other comments were said to me and about me. It was just three people saying it,  I ignored it. It didn’t actually bother me to begin with, I was so happy with the way it looked that nothing could bring me down. But then walking home a group of Year 10s started to say the same thing, when I say a group I mean like 20 boys saying things to me. It did bother me a little bit. Of course it would, I was happy with how it looked.

The same thing carried on, I would get various comments said to me in maths and when walking home I would get the same thing. One lunch time, I started to get the same thing from the same group of boys. Although I was sat with my friends so it didn’t bother me. A few of my friends told them to leave me alone. The group still carried on but because we weren’t paying any attention to them they started to throw food at me. How can you ignore that? A few of my friends got up to go and speak to them but then I thought about, “If you ignore it and pretend you don’t notice, they might stop, right?” I was wrong. It carried on until a teacher came over telling them to stop.

It carried on for a whole week, I had food thrown at me near enough every lunch time. I then went and told someone, I wasn’t going to at first but a friend convinced me to go, she even came with me to in case I didn’t really want to talk about it. The outcome of talking about it was that it all stopped for like three days…but then it carried on again..

This happened for a whole month and I didn’t tell anyone else, I thought if I left it, it would stop, it would end and I would be left alone. Obviously telling someone wasn’t the right answer. I was 100% wrong! Being honest, I didn’t want to tell anyone, it’s kind of embarrassing when you are having food thrown at you on a daily basis, it really affects someone’s self-esteem..

When on my way home I would have things said to me, the advantages of riding a bike are that you can get past people faster than on foot. But not if they block the path just so they can say cruel things…

It was no longer my hair they were picking on me for, they were now saying things about my weight and anything else they thought of. I eventually had enough of all the grief I was getting, I spoke to my friend about it and then finally went and told my dad.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, no one knows what is going on unless you tell them, after all, they don’t have a crystal ball.

The morning after I told my dad, he went into the school to go and speak to someone about what was going on. I felt nervous, I didn’t really want him to go into the school, I thought it would cause more problems but once again I was wrong. I got asked to explain what was going on and why I didn’t tell anyone that it carried on after telling the first teacher. The sad truth is that I was use to it, I wasn’t happy with it but I was used to it. Which links back to a post that I wrote a few weeks ago: Just because you’re used to something doesn’t mean it’s okay..!

Within two weeks, I was getting pulled out of my lessons to go and speak about how I felt. I then got the opportunity to speak to the people who were causing me to feel the way I was feeling. My main question was why, why did they feel the need to be cruel? Why did they have to take it that far in the first place? What did I ever do to them for them to treat me how they did? And so on…

Most of the answers I got were, “It was just a joke” or they said that they never did it…

I didn’t understand how I could possibly take it as a joke, I get the whole being called Skrillex thing, I found it funny after a while, not that I want to be called that because I don’t. But throwing food at me…how is that a joke?

I wanted to find a way to avoid having food thrown at me or being called names. I just really don’t understand how anyone in the right mind thinks that what I experienced was okay.

I thought that because it was a new year, that I would be in sixth form, that maybe, just maybe, people might have grown up and would finally leave me alone. I was wrong with that thought. Everyone that usually supports me reassured me that it wasn’t me, that it was them that had the problem and that I shouldn’t let them effect who I am.

Here’s my advice, if you want to do something different (Get your hair cut, dyed, change your style of clothes, ect), then go for it, if you like it then just do it. Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do. If you get any grief then tell someone straight away, you never know it might not get better unless you tell someone.

Do what is best for you, forget everyone else, don’t worry about what people will say or think. You should have your best interests at heart.

I just wanted to finish this post off by saying thank you for all the support I got with this incident, you know who you are. It means so much to me. Without the support I would have most likely ended up leaving sixth form, that’s what I wanted to do. Who can learn and enjoy themselves when you have people bringing you down? Not me, that’s for sure. Massive thank you to my friends and my dad for supporting me through this, and even though I know they won’t see this, I want to acknowledge the support I got from two teachers at school, they arranged my opportunity of being able to speak to the ones that bullied me.

Some people will read this and will say, “That wasn’t bullying, chill.” It was bullying, it made me unhappy, made me want to leave school, made me feel uncomfortable with who I was and made me want to disappear within school, it WAS bullying.

Thank you for the ongoing support. Hope this has helped at least one person, or at least opened up someone’s eyes. Finally writing and posting this has made me feel like a massive weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.

Dated: 21st July 2016


Now here’s my actual point, the reason I wrote this in the first place… Getting the notification from Facebook made me realise that the Facebook status and the two blog posts above were written about the same group of boys. I also realised that the blog post I wrote in December was about the same group of boys too. The one in December was called: The positive outcome of telling a teacher about bullying…

It made me realise something, the school don’t keep their promises.

In Year 11 the same group of boys threw stones at me and I got promised that they would leave me alone.

In Year 12 they threw food at me and laughed about my hair, once again I was told that they wouldn’t do it again.

I’m in Year 13 now and in December they were intimidating me non-stop, once again when I spoke to the school I got promised that it would stop and if it happened again then the boys would be excluded.

A few weeks ago they started again and decided to make it their mission to walk into me on purpose, sounds like a small issue right? It didn’t bother me but when it happened everyday for a week it gets annoying. Walking around them doesn’t work when there’s so many of them.

Walking into me doesn’t bother me, it’s kind of funny, I mean you nearly dropped your brand new phone, it doesn’t bother me at all. That would have been hilarious. Karma.

Getting back to my point…

Little Heath School don’t keep their promises. I was promised each and every time that they would leave me alone and I would be able to get on with my exams and coursework without the bullying. Obviously, as you can tell from my blog posts and what I write about a lot, this worked really well and they defiantly left me alone.

I’m writing about this because it just goes to show that when you are promised something because it goes against their bullying policy and makes them look bad on the internet, that they will promise anything to keep an individual quiet so that the issue goes away. As you can see the action they take obviously works…

I know that people keep telling me to name and shame the bullies, to copy and paste their comments and screenshot what they send me on social media, but I don’t want to do that as I feel sorry for them. What I said in last weeks blog post shows just how sorry I feel for anyone that bullies anyone.

Okay, so that’s it from me this week. I know this is a long one but I needed to get it off my chest. I was going to try to post yesterday as it was Thursday and that’s the usual day that I post but it took me a little while longer to write this one because I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything out. Thank you for all the support from my friends and family, especially my dad because he always helps sort out the bullying.

Have a good week, stay strong and keep smiling. We’ll see what next weeks blog post brings. Much love – Alison xx

“Nah me and Alison are cool.”

Hey guys, so this week I want to talk about something that happened yesterday. The quote of my blog post probably tells you that this is going to be somewhat of a rant. But I wrote something about it because I am able to deal with it now. It brought back a lot of memories.

Here goes…

“Nah me and Alison are cool”

But are we though? Do you not remember what you done to me?

I do.

Do you not remember having fun bullying me?

I do.

Do you not remember humiliating me in front of everyone to gain popularity?

Make you feel big does it?

Do you feel better now? You’ve gone from being bullied to bullying others and now your Mr popular, well that’s what you think. 

I know.

Do you remember when you slapped my arse in front of your friends to make fun of me? To make me feel small? It worked. Do you feel proud? 

I feel sorry for you.

Today I told you exactly what I wanted to, it wasn’t anything rude, I just told you I wanted you to go away and leave me alone, simple right? Obviously it wasn’t simple for you.

Don’t you get it yet?

Do you feel better now after making that joke about me? Does it make you feel better now? Does it make you feel big?

I hope so.

I used to get upset over the stuff you used to do and say to me, but not anymore. 

Hope you feel proud now.

Do you feel small? I mean, that’s why you do it, right? Does it help your small mind feel bigger? You must have real problems to have to bully someone else to make yourself feel big?

I hope you have someone to talk to that you can trust. Hopefully they wont make fun of you.

I do.

You got bullied so you have to bully others, is that what it is? I understand that they hurt you.

I hope one day, you get the support to help you.

You know what history is, right?

In time, you will be walking down the road proud with your girlfriend / daughter / son, and somebody will say “there’s that bully, do you remember him?” 

It’s called karma.

I did that six months ago, she dumped him and he cried as she was bullied at school. I was too kind to shout karma.

I wish you all the best in the future.


Okay so that’s it for this weeks post, I’m trying to get back into weekly blogging but we’ll see what happens. Quick shout-out to my best friend Chloe for always supporting me with everything that I do and genuinely being there for me no matter what. Thank you for reading and thank you to those that keep asking me to post, it means a lot knowing that you want to read. If you are new here and like what I post, press that follow button! Thank you so much. Much love – Alison xx