Last week I came across someone who I thought I could talk to about bullying, so quite frankly I spoke to them about it, mainly because they said that they had been bullied when they were little… The thing with me is, whenever I hear that adults were bullied when they were younger I always ask them how they got it to stop or other advice. This time was different though, he was understanding and gave me some good advice but then thought it was okay to say, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are a big girl.” I didn’t really know what to say so I finished off the conversation, said goodbye and walked away.
I don’t understand how you thought it was okay to say that. Don’t you think I already knew that? I mean I’ve been bullied about it long enough to know about it. Honestly. What really upset me was that he thought it was okay and it’s the way he gave me a certain look after, that really upset me. I don’t care how I look anymore, I have the people I need around me and they don’t care about how I look, that’s good enough for me. For someone that hardly knows me, you shouldn’t say things like that. I mean I know he said “don’t take this the wrong way…”, but I’m going to be 100% honest, I do take anything like that the wrong way. This is me and you can’t do anything about it, I’m not changing for anyone in this life time!
Another thing that annoys me is what if I was going through a hard time? If that was someone else, someone saying that to them may have been their breaking point. It’s horrid. Yes. People have said worse things to me. Yes. People will probably read this and think that it’s no big deal. However, they don’t understand how much this affects people. Your telling me something I already know, it made me feel like it was a reminder, something that’s been shoved in my face again. No one really understands how it feels until someone says something like that to them, especially when they have to deal with hate in other ways.
I’m going to be honest, even though worst things have been said to me, this really hurt. Your an adult. Your not a child or teenager. I usually get this sort of thing said to me by children or teenagers, that’s what really upset me. You’ve been through it, your supposed to be better than who bullied you when you grow up, not say things just as bad to people that are experiencing bullying, it’s pathetic.
I’ve said a lot that I won’t let things like this effect me, I’m not going to lie though, this was really difficult to hear. I know it’s true, I just don’t appreciate it…It’s like when you try telling someone something and they repeat themselves 10 more times, annoying right? Okay so maybe that’s not the same, but you probably get where I’m coming from…
What really annoys me is that YOU know what it’s like to be bullied, you understand what it feels like to be bullied, and then do exactly the same thing as others have done for years. So my question for you is, you CAN say it, but do YOU think it’s the RIGHT thing to say?
So here’s my post for this week, sorry it’s kind of a rant (Is it? I don’t think it is but I’m apologizing in advance in case it is, whoops!) Here’s my advice: If you ever get something said to you that upsets you, please do tell someone, no matter how small you think it is, tell someone because even though this happened a week ago, just thinking about it upsets me, so please do tell someone, it’ll be worth it. You never know the problem might even get sorted out.
Thanks for reading, hope you all have a nice week! Much love – Alison xx