A letter to my bullies…

Hi all, so this week I have decided I’d write a letter to anyone who has ever bullied me. But before I do, I just wanted to say thank you for the replies from last weeks post, it was really different and I appreciate the support that I have gotten from it, so thank you! It was really difficult to write about and I was kind of nervous to post it, so thank you…

Here goes…

Dear Mr Bully,

Remember me? Maybe not… I was just that kid that you could laugh at and make jokes about…  I saw you the other day, I got really anxious in case you remembered who I was, but you just glanced my way and that was it. I was kind of relieved but just seeing you, it was like a trip down memory lane again… Remember when you used to corner me and punch me in the stomach cause it was “funny” and no one could see? You and your 5 mates really did seem like you were having a good time… Remember when you tipped yogurt over me? Or made me cry in the middle of class by your whispering of horrible things? No? Well I do, and it’s likely that I will for the rest of my life…

What you put me through…Just to become popular or be that funny kid in class, I don’t really see how it was worth it? Look at you now, you’re a walking talking bully. So I moved on and managed to get away from you, so you moved on to someone else and now your known as a bully.

Does it make you feel better? The bullying, I mean…

You must feel like a real big person, someone who people look up to, and maybe you are for some… But I will never forget how you and your friends made me feel.

To me, it is cruel and I don’t see why you would want to bully anyone but I guess that is just my opinion.

“But it’s just banter Miss”. I’m glad you think that, on the other hand, I don’t believe that it is banter. Banter isn’t punching a girl in the stomach daily and making her lie to her dad about how the bruises got there. Banter isn’t cutting a girl’s hair and making her keep quiet. Banter isn’t making a girl cry in class because you find it funny to whisper hurtful things. Banter isn’t taking a girls money off of her or pushing her into walls or fences.

I just really don’t understand how any of that is okay to anyone, it’s horrible and cruel and no one should have to go through that.

Do you feel better now? It got so bad that I had to go to counseling and spend my lunchtime’s in a library. It got so bad that I wouldn’t go out of the house without my dad. It’s got so bad that I don’t go to certain places because I know you might be there, if you aren’t there one of your friends are bound to be there and that’s just as bad…

Definition of Bullying – There is no legal definition of bullying. However, it’s usually defined as behaviour that is:

  • repeated
  • intended to hurt someone either physically or emotionally
  • often aimed at certain groups, eg because of race, religion, gender or sexual orientation

It takes many forms and can include:

  • physical assault
  • teasing
  • making threats
  • name calling
  • cyber-bullying “

 

I don’t understand how it is banter if you have hurt me physically and emotionally…

I understand that some may have a reason why they bully other, but it’s NOT a good enough reason, there isn’t a good enough REASON to bully anyone..

I would say I hope you change but I know you probably won’t…

From, the girl you bullied…

I’m not just hiding behind a blog and saying all this, I have confronted bullies before… It was really difficult to do, but it’s just one of the many things that have made me stronger.

There was one guy that tried to speak to me because he hadn’t seen me in years, I was wondering why he was speaking to me and didn’t really want to speak to him and so I said “Why would I want to speak to you? Your nothing but a bully.”, Little did I know that the girl who was stood with him and his friends was his girlfriend. I didn’t know who she was until she sent me a message later that day on Facebook, she said she broke up with him and she apologized for his behaviour because she didn’t want me to think bad of her.

Another time, I was going to meet my dad after a bad day at school and the same boy who had bullied me that day came up to me with his friends and started calling me names. I was so frustrated, I simply said, “Do you enjoy bullying others? Is that your favourite thing to do? Do you like making people feel low? Do you like the fact that I want to move schools and don’t want to go to school anymore? Your nothing but a bully!” No word of a lie, he just started to cry and started saying how sorry he was…

I tried again with another boy but he just ran away so it didn’t really work, and I’ve spoken about the other times on my blog in previous blog posts…

Okay… So that’s it for this weeks post, it would have been longer but if I could actually write a letter to someone who has bullied me, it would be pages and pages long, I have so much I want to say and so many questions… But there it is… My next post will be next Thursday like usual. Once again thank you for all the support. It honestly does mean so much! Your comments mean everything to me. Much love – Alison xx

 

I’m quitting social media for a bit…

Hi guys, so this post is going to be a little bit different from what I usually write about… But before I start, I wanted to just say a massive thank you for all the lovely messages I got from last weeks post, after I finished writing it, I didn’t really want to post it but I did anyway, so all the messages were kind of reassuring, so thank you.

Okay…So before anyone thinks this is about anyone else, it’s not (Although it probably will seem that way and there will probably be a few hateful comments about that. But I promise you it’s not intended to be about anyone). Either way, you are entitled to your own opinion.

Here goes…

Last Thursday, I put something up on Facebook that I probably shouldn’t have, in my opinion it wasn’t rude and it wasn’t about anyone, it was about people that bully others but obviously it didn’t seem that way. The comments got out of hand and things got upsetting… I got told to block someone and so that ended in more upset… In the past, if things have got out of hand, I have been told to block people for it, so that no one gets upset. A few people disagree with me though, which is okay, your allowed to, obviously, but I think that it was for the best.
ScreenHunter_56 Apr. 09 13.39

Here’s why I posted it..

So, if you know me personally, you know that I go to McDonald’s quite a lot, not to eat, to do homework and revision (ect, ect)… I can’t do it at home because I can’t concentrate, my brother has got autism and so I find it difficult, as much as I don’t mind, my dad thinks that it is kind of unfair that I am unable to work from home. Due to this I often go to different cafes or fast food places and work there, basically anywhere with wifi.

Okay, so the reason I’m writing about this is because on Thursday, I was sat in McDonalds’s, as you do, doing revision, using the wifi. I was fine as I was getting on with it, waiting for my dad to finish work. While I was there, on my own, a group of people sat opposite me, (So what?…Wait for it…) I didn’t know them, however, they knew who I was. I sat there and carried on doing work, until I heard them talking about me… I know it shouldn’t bother me. Honestly, I wasn’t listening to their conversations but after a while they got louder and louder.

“I swear she’s always here…It’s like she lives here or something, haha”

“She’s so fat, look at her, oh my god..”

“I’d hate if I was her size.”

“She’s probably hungry”

“Why’s she in McDonald’s?”

“No wonder she gets called fat…”

What they said upset me, of course it did, so I text my dad and asked how long he was going to be, I’d had enough and I wanted to go home… I ignored what they said though… I knew that if I said anything, something bad was bound to happen..

They started to throw food at me, just little bits here and there… I just pretended that I didn’t notice, but I did, how can you not notice that? I didn’t say anything though, because from experience I know that whenever I say something it just escalates the situation. Eventually, they stopped, my dad walked in and came to see me. I moved away from them so that I could be left alone.

The only way I can have my say is on the internet, whether that is Facebook, Twitter (ect) or my blog.. It’s how I express myself, I don’t like the idea of arguing with someone where anything can happen… I felt the simplest way to say what I thought was to post it on Facebook.. Saying I was amused by it all but I wasn’t…

Now thinking about it, it was probably wrong to post that, but it wasn’t about anyone in particular… It was about people who do things like that. That’s what it was supposed to sound like but it obviously didn’t to some. The whole post was blown way out of proportion.

Just think about it, wouldn’t you be a little upset getting called names? No? Well then I’m kind of jealous, I’ve never been able to ignore what people are saying, sometimes it’s because I know they can be right… But wouldn’t you get a little upset if you had food thrown at you? No? Good for you, I’m not being sarcastic, seriously, good for you, it probably takes a lot of strength.

I’m not going to lie, when I got the comments I was kind of frustrated, I mean no one else was there with me so they shouldn’t judge. I know I shouldn’t of said “Plain b*tch”, but it’s how I felt and I have a right to express how I feel.

I’m sorry if I offended anyone with my post. The way I look at it is, it’s my Facebook, so if you don’t like what I post unfriend me, that’s the same with any social media really… It’s the same with my blog, if you feel offended, don’t read it, it’s as simple as that.

The night all this happened, I was upset, because of what happened in reality and on social media. It shouldn’t of happened. If people were grown up enough not to upset others, just because “It’s hilarious” or “Something to pass the time with”, then I wouldn’t of had to write about how I felt about the whole situation.

I didn’t write about being called names or having food thrown at me because every time I have done that I have got cocky comments about how I should lighten up because it was “Just a laugh” or they were “Just messing around” and that I “Shouldn’t take it to heart”. I apologize for taking it to heart, it must be awful, I mean, it’s just a joke, bullies must have a real hard life, picking on others to pass the time or to make themselves feel better, I’m 100% sorry that you feel that way, but why should I have to experience that just because you feel bad about yourselves? I shouldn’t. It’s ridiculous that things like this happen. No one should be made to feel how I felt.

When I got home, Thursday night, I went to bed and text my best friend, I was so upset and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t understand why it matters what I post, I understand that words can hurt people over social media but it wasn’t aimed at anyone so I didn’t understand. The whole thing was blown out of proportion.

When I spoke about it to a few of my friends, they said that blocking someone was the best way to deal with the situation.

Due to this situation and a few other things that have been going on, I have taken a week to decide what to do, I’ve decided that I’m going to quit social media for a bit. When I spoke about this, some of my friends went mad…

“You shouldn’t delete your social media accounts, it was just one person…It shouldn’t make a difference.” But it wasn’t one person and it’s not just this situation, that’s not why I’m doing this. I got so fed up of being sent messages from people that don’t know anything about me, they were just hating on me for no reason, saying the usual stuff about my weight, I shouldn’t have to put up with it.

At first, I came up with a few things I could do:

  • Delete all my social media
  • Delete my blog
  • Move schools (This is always an option, but I shouldn’t run away from things…)
  • Change my number so people can’t send me anything
  • Be done with everything that doesn’t matter and just focus on what does matter..

Then I thought about it, and told a few friends what I was thinking of doing… They said that all of my ideas were bad, and thinking about it, they are probably right.

However, I have decided that it is probably best that I quit my social media for a bit, I will be deleting the apps of my phone (etc) and taking a break from it all. Out of sight, out of mind.. I feel that this is probably the best way to contain the situations that I am experiencing.

I will most likely still be posting on my blog, it’s how I express myself and I’d regret deleting it.

“People love your blog and so do I, I love to read it, you are helping so many people, please don’t delete it.”

“Your blog inspires so many people, you can’t delete it! You help people with it and get to express yourself…Forget the haters, hold your head high and just continue with your life – Don’t let them impact you, just block them and if they continue over sites then tell me and we can do something about it!!”

“It really annoys me that you keep on getting bullied; you don’t deserve this; although this isn’t majorly defined as bullying its kind of cowardice, and stupidity. Just enjoy the company you have by your friends and family, I know it’s hard, trite and prude but just try and ignore the oral bullying, at least the “cyber” zone will not be seen.”

“Don’t listen to other people who haven’t got the balls to write on a blog.”

All the support that I got from this is amazing and it’s really made me think. But the way I am going to do this is to quit social media and come back to it when I’m ready. Although I will still be using it once a week to post about my blog as I do. But apart from that, that’s it.

Thank you for all the support you guys give me, I don’t know what I’d do without you.

That’s it from me this week, thank you for reading. There will be a new post next week. Much love – Alison xx

Out of sight, out of mind…

Hey guys! So this week I want to talk about why I love half term so much, I’m pretty sure some of you will be able to relate. “Cause you don’t have to go to school, duh”, no, not quite…

But before I start this post, I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all the support from last weeks blog post, I got such a great response yet again, so thank you so much because it really does mean a lot! In case anyone was wondering, I didn’t get any grief this April Fools day which is great! I was so pleased, maybe people have started to grow up a bit…

Okay, so… Out of sight, out of mind.

If you can’t already guess who or what I’m talking about, I’m talking about bullies.

I don’t know about you but I love half terms mainly because I don’t have to see the people that bully me. Whereas, when I’m at school, I am constantly looking over my shoulder or worrying. I worry mainly because if the bullies feel like bullying someone they will, and if they see me then I’m the one in their firing range..

It becomes a real problem when I go out though, I’ll go into a shop, see someone and end up walking back out because I’m worried that even outside of school they will find a way to upset me. Being in the same room, same shop or same area with someone that either still does or has bullied me in the past makes me feel really uncomfortable, why should anyone be made to feel like that?

So, here’s what I have done. I have thought of ways that I can make these experience’s better for myself. So I don’t have to worry as much. I know that a few of my readers may have gone through this, so just remember, they can only get to you if you let them get to you, and I know it’s difficult, I know it shouldn’t happen in the first place, but just stay strong, keep your head held high and keep smiling.

If you see someone that you are worried about, don’t walk the opposite way, hold your head up high and walk to wherever you are going. The only one that can control how you feel is you, I know it’s difficult but honestly if you just smile at them when they say something, they won’t say anything more. It shows that your more powerful than what they say. That’s really all you can do…

So, I know this isn’t a long post, but that’s it for this week, there will be a new post next Thursday! Thank you for all the support. Much love – Alison xx