It’s almost 2020 and this year has been a mess…

Hey all, I’ve wrote this and rewrote this maybe 100 times, maybe not this post but ones similar to it. I haven’t posted since July, I’ve wanted to, I just haven’t had the words to say what I wanted to say. It’s almost the end of 2019 and although I said I defiantly wasn’t going to say “this year is going to be my year”, I secretly hoped it would be. I mean, there’s still time and I’ve accomplished some amazing things this year, even if others don’t think their that great. I think they are.

This year has truly been a mess. January was the most unmotivated month, it started off really well but then things cooled down and weren’t that great, (I ain’t going to go into it but if you know then you know). February, we lost our first family pet and my Great Gran.

I’m going to confess to something that only a few people know, I never wanted a dog, dogs scared me. I liked dogs when I was little until I stroked one that bit me, that was kind of when I got scared off by them. My brother and my dad would always stroke dogs when we were out in town or whatnot and I’d always walk far far away from them. Until my dad decided we were getting a dog, that I defiantly didn’t want (11 year old me was harsh lol). But we got her anyway, my brother named her Poppy. She was a staffy, people were scared of her but my fear of dogs started to disappear, and now when my dad or brother lean down to stroke a dog so do I. ‘Cause although I may not have wanted her, she did change my life (as cheesy as that sounds), she put muddy paw prints on my bed, chewed my socks and drove me mad, but she was the best first pet that I could ever of had.

We lost my Great Gran in the same week as we lost Poppy and although we knew she was ill and wasn’t going to get any better it still hit home. She was great, everything a gran should be❤

March was a little bit better, my amazing brother turned 18, we celebrated with expensive ice cream (There’s not a better way to celebrate it – don’t even argue with me).

April came and I was starting to get ready (properly) for exams and final essays – anyone that’s in education will already know how stressful this really is. I also started a new job in April that I enjoyed, lets be honest, working with kids who think your cool, when you most defiantly are not, is one of the best things (p.s. I already know I ain’t cool, I agree haha).

May was quite hard, I lost my Great Nan after a long and difficult fight with Dementia. We knew it was coming but that wasn’t any easier once she had passed. I was quite close to my Great Nan growing up, she’d get us in trouble playing drums on the saucepans in the kitchen, or she’d tell us really cool and interesting things about what it was like to be in the Land Army during World War 2. She was one of the nicest people I had in my life and although we knew it was going to happen eventually, that didn’t make it any easier.

To have this happen in May and then get prank calls, it didn’t make this any better – some of my friends are going to hate what I say next (I ain’t defending them, just making a point). To whoever it was that was prank calling me (and I’m 90% sure I know who you were), I know you didn’t know that this was going on in my life, not to ask for sympathy or whatever (cause I don’t want it or need it) – not that it would have made a difference, you probably still would have said those awful things. BUT it just goes to show that you shouldn’t do those shitty things, everyone is going through a silent battle that you know nothing about and although in your defence you didn’t know, that’s not the point. It’s not cool to be cruel, be kind. In a perfect world everyone would be a lot nicer to one another. Hope you think about that next time.

The rest of May and June were just hard work, I got through all the exams I had and finished those essays – I finally finished college, the stress from that was finally over (sort of, results day was looming).

July hit with some bad news, which I ain’t going to talk about, just know (although everyone already knows this), Cancer sucks.

My brother also graduated in July – which I’m super proud of, he proved everyone wrong and is doing great. Just goes to show that not everyone knows what their talking about, especially when people say “you will NEVER accomplish…”. Have a little faith.

August came and so did results day, I passed my course, better than I thought I would and accomplished something that I thought I never would. I worked so hard throughout the whole year with a lot of things that could and probably should have held me back but that was the best thing to come out of this. That I done something that I got told I would never achieve.

September hit and I turned 21, I’ve never spent a week celebrating my birthday but I can’t tell you how great that week was. I got to spend the best time with the most amazing people! I can’t thank them anymore than I already have for making it great.

October and November were spent volunteering for The Royal British Legion, where I met some of the most interesting people, it happens every year, I get to listen to more and more interesting stories by the most amazing people. Heroes is probably a better word for them.

So in July, I got a new job, working with the most amazing people. I couldn’t fault a single one of them (Not that I’d want to anyway), they are the most loveliest people, they are funny and just there, whenever I need help. We’re a real team. As I said the other day, it sets the bar high. I’ve never had it where everyone is so nice, there’s always someone but it’s not like that this time (unless their all really good actors🤣). At the beginning of November, we got some really bad news, and as bad as it is, their all still amazing. I actually look forward to going to work – that’s what it’s supposed to be like. Usually I’d dread going, not for the type of work but for some of the people I’d have to work with, as I said before, there’s always one… (Everyone probably knows what I’m talking about, they have probably experienced it too).

December is almost here, it’s been a pretty weird, messy year. But I’ve had some of the best people to get me through it and met some of the most incredible people that make my day everyday. (Touch wood). December is going to be a good month.

I haven’t wrote anything since July but got inspiration to finally write something so here it is. An update on life, things I’ve been keeping quiet about. But I should be back soon with a new post. I’ve got the ideas, just need to put them into words. So until then, hope everyone’s having the best time, keep smiling and be kindddd. Much love, Ally xo

3 thoughts on “It’s almost 2020 and this year has been a mess…

  1. Pingback: 2020, Here we come… | My Insane Wxnderland Blog

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