Why I hate April Fools Day…

Before I write about why I hate April Fools Day, I just want to say a massive thank you for all the support I got from my last blog post about being hit by a taxi, the support was great. I was so worried about posting it because of the hate I got last time but the support has really helped, and everyone that spoke to me, didn’t make a joke about it or anything which was great! The support I got from that post has made me think about writing this one, so thank you. Anyways, back to this post…

So tomorrow it is the first day of April, famously known as April Fools Day. Does anyone know why the day exists? Besides playing jokes on other people, I’d really like to know!

This year the day falls during the Easter half term, but usually the day falls on a school day. I’ve only ever been to school once on April fools day, but other than that, I’ve had every other April fools day off school because of a few incidents that happened on that one April fools day that was a school day. 

It was in year 7, in a maths class. Half way through the class the boy that sat behind me tapped my shoulder, so I turned around, a few of the girls in the back were laughing and some of the boys were encouraging him. They all knew what was going to happen but I didn’t have a clue. He asked me out, as a joke obviously. As a “April Fools” joke. Before I could answer, the teacher told us all to be quiet and for me to turn around, he then took me out of the lesson 10 minutes later because certain people in my class wouldn’t leave me alone. He asked me if I realised what day it was. I had already spoke to him about being bullied before and so he knew what was happening. There was about 10 minutes left of the lesson and so he told me to get my bag and to have an early break. When I walked back in to the class to get my bag, he asked me again and I said no, to which I got some horrible comments, you name it and it was most likely said to me. Even though it was an April Fools joke, for the next couple of weeks, I got picked on about it.

Another thing that has happened, mainly because I stopped going to school on April Fools day, I would get messages from people, asking me out as a joke or they would say really nice things to be and then once I’d say thank you, they would message me back saying April Fools with a rather rude reply. So even when I didn’t go to school, and I was in the comfort of my own home, they would still be able to attack me with their horrid words…

One year, a bunch of boys came up to me and started talking to me (“So what Alison, their just talking to you” – I know, I know…) but because they were being so nice to me, I found it weird and asked them why they were talking to me, (I wasn’t even rude! It was just a genuine question!). To which they responded by throwing yogurt at me…I had to buy a new school jumper… It was humiliating. A teacher made me walk away and go to the bathroom to sort myself out. Half of my (No longer) friends sat there and laughed at me as well. Even when it’s 5/6 years on, I still don’t find it funny, it was humiliating and uncalled for. As I walked away with what friends I had left, the group of boys told me that no one really liked me and called me so many names. I ended staying off school for the rest of the week. I never got an apology for it either…

So here’s what I have to say, if you are planning on pranking someone tomorrow, please don’t be too cruel or mean about it, you have no idea what they are going through and would you really want to be seen as mean to other pupils? I suppose some people don’t care, but just think about it, if that was you, would you find it funny?

Anyway, that’s it from me this week, new post next Thursday. Hope you all have a lovely week! Thank you for all the support, I’ve really enjoyed reading the comments, emails and messages that I have been getting. Much love – Alison xx

Taxis…

Once again I’m opening up to the internet, this is the moment where I secretly hide under a cover as I write and post this… On Sunday, 31451_457002781034620_638681108_nit was three years since I had got hit by a taxi. Now before you read that and ask, “Well why are you posting about this?”, I’m writing about it to open up. I finally feel as if I can talk about it and all the bullying I got because of it. If you are a decent human being then you hopefully won’t laugh or comment anything hurtful.

12782136_971472036276017_198400195_nmmI can’t really remember what was happening, all I can remember was that I was on my way to counselling and then next thing you know I’m on the floor. I had the next day off school and didn’t tell ANYONE what happened, because I knew exactly what would happen. I knew that I would get picked on for it. I went back to school, two days after the accident happened, walked into form and BOOM, everyone knew about it. I instantly walked back out and phoned my dad, he said that I should try and stay at school and see what happens, that I had to try not to worry and to keep calm. My phone was blowing up with a load of people that didn’t even usually talk to me, asking if it was true. I’m not going to lie, I felt trapped, I felt as if I couldn’t escape, it hurt. I used my phone as a way to escape from everything but that 12596390_977544935647066_216369862_nvgwas blowing up to and I didn’t know what to do. Anyone that is reading this is probably 12325380_971471669609387_488241546_ngwondering why I didn’t just ignore it, truth is, when you walk into your form room and things are said it is hard to block it out, same as when I went on my phone, my phone is my escape so it was really difficult for me to ignore anything that was said because it was everywhere.

I had to spend the next month with people talking about it, laughing at me and sending me horrible messages. How can you ignore that? 12769646_971471972942690_450635370_nhhI wanted to become invisible. I wanted to leave school. I wanted everything to be normal again, normal for me was being picked on about my weight so me writing that doesn’t really make sense. I just wanted everyone to be quiet and talk about something else.

Whenever I got hate about it, whether it was over text or face to face, sometimes I would use humour to try and ease the pain that 12884362_977544945647065_49117320_n;they were causing, it only worked 6 times out of 10, the other times, I would get a horrible reply or people would laugh at the other persons insult. I just felt so isolated, I didn’t know what to do.

What I still don’t understand though is why they laughed? What’s so funny about being hit by a taxi? Is it amusing? You hear every other day that someone has been hit by a car and someone has died, why don’t you laugh about that? I’ll tell you why, because it’s cruel. So if you won’t laugh about some random person dying in a bike accident (I’m not saying you should – IT’S WRONG!!!), why laugh about my bike accident? I don’t think I will ever be able to understand it. I asked someone a few months ago why they laughed about it, and all I got was, “Because it was funny.” Would it have been funny if I was put in hospital? Don’t even answer that because I know for some people, the answer would still be yes.

Some people still talk about it now, I’ll be laughing with someone about something and someone will say, “Do you remember that time when you got hit by a taxi?” or I’ll get random comments about how “hilarious” it was that it happened to me.

12782463_971469586276262_1865470977_n1111 12804277_971469522942935_720423528_n22222      10425569_971472029609351_302923699_ns

When I opened up about it – After everyone knew, I got so many comments and messages about it. Not going to lie, it hurt. Some people don’t understand that something like that could have an impact on that person, even if there wasn’t a physical impact. There was definitely a emotional and mental impact. I was terrified of going to school because I knew things would be said to me. It also had an impact on me when I got my new bike, I wouldn’t ride my bike anywhere for a whole month because I was worried it would happen again, and even when I did manage to start riding my bike again, it wasn’t the same. I had this constant worry that it would happen again. It still kind of does, have an impact on me… 12788200_971471872942700_1111479247_n - 11 12782478_971471856276035_24227326_n - 22 12516309_971471849609369_1234492978_n - 33

I realise that the screenshots that I have shown aren’t really that bad (to some peoples standards) but I’m telling you, that’s just a few of them, I had to be careful with what I put up because some of the language was so vulgar.

I told my cousin what I was going to write about on my blog this week and he asked me if I really wanted to bring this back. I thought about it all week, I wrote half of this and then came back to it. I am so much stronger (Mentally and emotionally) than I was three years ago, half the time people say things to me, I am able to ignore them. So yes, I am going to post this and I probably will get some sort of comments from ignorant people, but hey, that’s okay. It’s people like you that make me stronger (Mentally and emotionally), so I guess, really, I should be thanking you. But of course I won’t, cause I’m not thankful for what you put me through.

I want to say thank you to all of those people (You know who you are) that supported me through this, it means so much to me, I don’t know what I would do without you! Especially a big thank you to my dad for being there for me through all of this, I love you.

Okay, so, that’s it from me for this week! Hope you are enjoying reading my blog posts. Thank you so much for all the support! We broke up from school today for Easter half term, so if you also get half term, hope you have a great one and if not, enjoy the bank holidays! New blog post next Thursday! Much love – Alison xx

I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award!!!

Hello again, so, this weeks blog post is going to be a little different from what I usually write. I got two emails earlier this week letting me know that I had got two nominations for the Liebster Bloggers Award! How cool is that??! I’m so happy about this! Honestly, it’s so lovely to get things like this! Thank you to Shmaltz and Menudo and Timm for nominating me, it means a lot to me!

I went onto Google to look this up because I’d never heard of it before, basically I discovered that this award is to get bloggers discovered, it’s an award for bloggers from bloggers. Here’s how it works, I’ve been given 10 questions (But since I’ve been nominated twice I’m most likely going to answer more than 10 questions), then I have to nominate 10 bloggers and write 10 new questions for those that I have nominated. Here goes…

My Questions to Answer:

  1. Why do you blog?
    In 2014, I won a Pride of Reading Award for being Young Person of the Year, I think that’s what started this, I wanted to start a blog for ages before that but never did so at the end of 2014 I made a blog and started writing. I guess its because I consider myself quite a shy person, to the people that know me really well, they probably don’t consider me to be shy, in their eyes I’m probably crazy and weird (The good kind of crazy and weird – Maybe, I don’t really know), because of this, I struggle to get my point across, and when it comes to anything to do with bullying I am really passionate about it. If there is something that frustrates me or something has happened to me (bullying wise), chances are I have either already wrote about it or I am planning to write about it. Having a blog and writing blog posts gives me a voice, a voice that I have never had before, I can say what I want and how I feel, because it is my blog, I can write what I want.

  2. Who was your favourite teacher?
    I know this sounds weird, but I have more than one favourite teacher, I have 4 favourites! In primary school, there was this lovely teacher (I would say her name but I can’t spell it – It was Spanish, I think), anyways during lunch times and break times she would come and sit with me on a bench, as usually I’d be sat on my own, and she would come and speak to me, trying to get me to socialize with the other children. Another one of my favourite teachers – I used to go and sit in her classroom some lunch times and speak to her about bullying and she would give me all sorts of advice, at this time I hadn’t really told anyone so it was a big step, but I always used to say to her, “So I know this girl and this happened…. What would you do if it was you?”, secretly I reckon she knew I was talking about myself. The other two helped me a lot with bullying, they gave me the chance to speak to the people that were bullying me and get answers as to why they do what they do. This was a big step for me, I never would have imagined myself being able to ask someone why they do what they do. In general all of these teachers just gave me loads of support, that’s why their my favourites, I know it’s weird to have more than one favourite teacher but, oh well!

  3. Name your favourite movie.
    Currently my favourite movies (Sorry, it’s a series) have to be Divergent and Insurgent, I love how in the movie Tris is shown as this strong, brave, kind of hero, usually it’s a male playing the hero, but my own view is that she is the hero. I also love how they have divided the people into factions, I mean I understand that people can be more than one thing but they have named the factions after positive things. There are five factions, Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), Erudite (the intelligent), Abnegation (the selfless), and Candor (the honest). I just admire how there are positive factions, whereas now if we were to divide people into groups there would probably be a few negative ones.

  4. Have you ever played a musical instrument? If not, which instrument do you wish you could play?
    My dad once taught me how to play the recorder! It was so much fun. Also, when I was little, there was this keyboard on a table in the corner of our living room, my dad taught me how to play little nursery rhymes on it. Although, I can’t actually remember how to play either of these instruments – It was so long ago!

  5. Who’s your personal hero?
    My personal hero is my dad. He’s so supportive and he’s always there when I need him. I’ve been a daddy’s girl since day one, he always makes my day and makes me smile. Honestly, he is the best dad in the world, my number one hero, better than any superhero out there!

  6. Name your dream job.
    My dream job would be a children’s care worker, I’d love it if I could just make children feel better and make them smile daily. Just helping make their lives that tiny bit better.

  7. If you could travel to any part of the world and money was no object, where would you go?
    I’d probably travel to Sydney, it looks so pretty!

  8. Lets say you play the lotto. Would you rather win one of the smaller pots or take a lump sum of the jackpot?
    I would take a lump sum of the jackpot, before anyone thinks it’s because of greed I’ll tell you why… I would create an anti bullying campaign and use the money to teach children about bullying and try to help stop it. I would use the money for good instead of keeping it to myself because I wish that when I was getting bullied back in year 7 that there was a bullying campaign that I could go to just to get some advice, I mean there are a few bullying campaigns out there but they aren’t well known…

  9. How good are you with social media?
    This is kind of an odd question, I’m okay with social media but I’m not great with it, and I don’t agree with what happens on social media sometimes…

  10. What’s the real-world issue that’s closest to your heart?
    Bullying. I am so passionate about this, I think I could speak about it forever! Seriously though, if bullying was stopped there would be a lot more nicer people in this world. People wouldn’t have mental health problems that are related to bullying and there wouldn’t be half the problems there are. The world would be a better place if bullies and bullying didn’t exist.

  11. If you could give only one wise advice to a 15 year-old, what would it be?
    Honestly, just don’t care about what others say, don’t get in with the wrong crowd and don’t do things that you wouldn’t usually do just because they seem “cool” and it’ll get you in with the “popular” people. It’s not worth it. I now quite a few people that have done things to fit in and now their not happy with who their friends are but can’t change it because they have came across as a bully to others, and no one wants to be friends with someone who bullies others. Pick your friends wisely and don’t do anything that you think your mum/dad/guardian wouldn’t approve of. Always be kind.

  12. What is your most creative time of day/night for blogging?
    I don’t really have a most creative time to write a blog post, if I wake up at 3am and have a good idea, I will usually write it on my notes page on my phone, or if I see something in school and it strikes an idea I will get my phone out. Nine times out of ten, if I am on my phone typing away, it is most likely because I’ve had a good idea and I need to write it down before I forget. Sometimes, I’ll feel really rude because I will be talking to someone and the  I’ll get an idea and I just HAVE to write it down before I forget! Although I’m pretty sure some people are used to it by now…

  13. Who is your best friend and what are his/her biggest qualities?
    I have more than one best friend and I’m not going to name them because I think that’s unfair and will probably cause a load of grief but they all know who they are. All my friends seem to have the same qualities now that I think about it. They are all funny, kind, lovely people that give very good advice and never seem to fail at making me smile or making my day. They are all very supportive and I love them like family.

  14. What is your goal for your blog in 2016?
    My goal is to help more people and write more posts. I want to make my blog as successful as it can be, by successful I mean that it helps people.

  15. What’s your favourite activity on a weekend?
    Usually, on a weekend when I don’t have a lot of coursework or homework, I love to go on a bike ride with my dad. Over the years, I’ve became really interested in photography and so I love to take pictures whenever I go out. Another thing that I love to do is go to the park with friends and just sit and chat, but really that only happens when it’s a sunny weekend.

My nominations:

  1. driftinglexi
  2. https://natalieslovelyblog.com/
  3. https://salazarjoana.wordpress.com/
  4. http://theroadtothere.live/
  5. https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com/
  6. http://shandraeats.com/
  7. http://dailyinspiration.me/
  8. https://myexperimentswithtruths.wordpress.com/
  9. https://bookedsolid1989.wordpress.com/
  10. https://aimees23.wordpress.com/

I have nominated these ten bloggers because I love to read their blogs and I think they deserve this, check out their blogs, you might enjoy reading them!

My ten questions for the bloggers I’ve nominated:

  1. Why did you start your blog?
  2. What’s your favourite book?
  3. What was your favourite lesson at school?
  4. If you had all the money that you needed in life, what would you do with it?
  5. If you saw someone being bullied would you stop it? If the answer is no, why?
  6. If you could meet any character from your favourite book or film, who would you meet?
  7. Are you inspired by any celebrities, who and why?
  8. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
  9. What are you most passionate about?
  10. Where do you see yourself in ten years time?

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to the two people for nominating me, it honestly does mean a lot to me. That’s it from me with this post, hope you enjoyed reading, thank you to the three people that came up and got all excited about what I was posting today, it does mean a lot to me, really it does, I don’t think anyone realises how much, but thank you so much!

Following up from last weeks blog, I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all of the support. Loads of people have came up to me and said that they loved what I wrote and that if I did leave they would be really upset and miss me, so thank you because that really does mean a lot to me. Recently I’ve wanted to leave, I’ve wanted to leave but then again I haven’t (Does that make sense??), and so it has became really difficult for me, but I’m sticking around. Why should I move anyway? I’ve done nothing wrong and it always will get better. If this is your worst moment, your worst day, just remember that if today is your worst day, the other 364 days in the year have got to be better.

That’s it from me this week, there will be a new blog post next Thursday as usual. Until then, I hope you all have a lovely week! Much love – Alison xx

Don’t run away from your problems, face them head on and don’t give up!

Hi guys! Okay, so over these last few months I’ve had quite a few problems with school, whether it’s been with the bullies, pointless arguments with friends or school work.

Over the past few years, every time I’ve been bullied it always got to the point where I’d always want to move schools or out of Reading, although whenever I asked my dad he always said no, this was because I shouldn’t have to move schools if I am doing okay academically. (Well, really, the first six times I asked he said yes but because things got better and I changed my mind, I never moved, after the sixth time of asking, he said I couldn’t move because it got to an important stage in my education).

Recently, I’d got to the point where I wanted to leave school again, not for good, but just to go somewhere else, to go to a different sixth form. I thought it would be easier. I just got to the point where I was so fed up with school that I thought it would get better if I moved. Although, yesterday, I really thought about it, why should I have to move? If I moved sixth form’s it would make sure that the bullies had won and that’s a fight that I’m not prepared to give up. I shouldn’t have to run from the bullies and that’s exactly what I would be doing if I had of left by now. I’m sticking in the same place until I either get a better offer or until it’s time to move on, I’m not a coward and therefore I’m not going to run away.

I’m not saying that people that move schools because of bullying are cowards – I’m really not, I’m so sorry that you had to move, it shouldn’t of came to that!

However, my point is that I’m sticking at the sixth form I’m at no matter what, I don’t see why I should leave. If I leave, the bullies have won and I won’t be able to make a difference and there’s no way I’m going to let that happen, I was put on this world to make my mark and that is exactly what I’m going to do.

I know that sometimes things get tough and you may just want to run away from it all but honestly if you are being bullied, just tell someone, use the advice from my previous blogs, it most likely will get sorted out if you tell them and if you don’t then it probably won’t (I know this is weird – but apparently, according to my dad, people don’t have a crystal ball and their not mind readers so if you don’t say anything it won’t get sorted. I know! Ridiculous, right?!).  If you are going through a tough time with friends then talk to them about it, nothing is going to get sorted if you just ignore each other, it’ll be worth it in the end. If the problem can’t be resolved then just don’t speak to each other – Obviously talk about the issue first.  Another thing that I’ve had problems with recently is school work, I stuck my head in the sand for a while and just kept worrying about it instead of asking for help, however this way (Since teachers don’t have crystal balls) I just struggled even more and therefore no work got done, really I just made it more difficult for myself.

The point of this blog post is to say that whatever you are going through, don’t run away from it, maybe talk to someone about it, if not it won’t get better.

When I was around 10 years old, I had a pair of pink tracksuit bottoms, they were my favourite! But when they ripped I didn’t tell my dad. I wasn’t careful with them, while outside playing football I ran straight past something (I can’t remember what it was) but whatever it was ripped my tracksuit bottoms. Anyways, I didn’t tell my dad, I was really worried that he would be cross with me, since they were only a day old, so I hid them under my bed for best part of a week, (Which in my mind seemed like a year), I attempted to sew up the hole but that went horribly wrong so I just hid them. Eventually he asked me why I didn’t wear them anymore (Obviously he already knew about it, he was just waiting for me to tell him), and I had to tell him – In fact it had built up so much guilt because they were new and  that I hadn’t told him, that I actually burst into tears and told him. Okay, so, the only reason I am telling you this is because if you are in a situation and you don’t communicate with others or you run away from the issue, it is never going to get resolved. My advice to you is to face your problems head on, even if there really scary, otherwise it will never get resolved and you don’t want the issue to repeat itself over and over, so just communicate. Trust me, it works.

Question for my followers: Have you ever faced up to something that you were really worried about? If so, and you feel comfortable with telling me – What was it? And how did you feel after? Let me know, in the comments below or message me. I’d love to hear about it.

That’s it from me this week, there will be a new blog post next week. Hope everyone has a great week in that time! Much love – Alison xx