Problem’s with social skills…

Being honest, when I first started getting bullied in primary school, the effect wasn’t as bad on me as it was in secondary school, it was but it wasn’t in a way. It got worse in secondary school. In primary school, I got called names and  got pushed and punched. It made me feel like I was in the wrong, even though I done nothing wrong. All I done was cry or sit in a corner on my own waiting for the end of the day to come. The effect was bad, I’m not going to lie, it made me loose my confidence, I just couldn’t see it happening and now I can see how it effected me. Some people that I thought were my friends were pretending, I found that out half way through primary school, they would be horrible to the point where I would cry. Primary school is your early years and I think that when you find friends in primary school, you’ll only stay friends with maybe 5 at the most, but they may not all be real friends. I had to learn that the hard way. Being young and naive I thought I did something wrong, but then I got told it wasn’t my fault and that they were only jealous…Jealous of what? I don’t know, I really don’t but people always say it. It’s another thing I need to figure out…

So when I first started secondary school I thought it would be okay, that I wouldn’t get bullied, people would like me for me but I was wrong. On the very first day I got picked on, It made it worse cause it was my birthday, I didn’t tell anyone though because I didn’t want birthday beats. I’m not going to lie, what they said hurt, especially as it was my birthday, I mean no one should be sad on their birthday. I didn’t tell anyone, I kept it in, I thought it was just the thing that happens to all year 7s but I was wrong. It wasn’t people in year 7 though, we were all as nervous and shy as each other, looking at our year group now I wonder what happened ha-ha. It was people from years above that were bullying me, and it carried on as well, all throughout my school life, it still happens now but it’s from people in my year and people below now. I thought I’d be okay in the school, I heard stories from people above that the school was really good and that there was no bullying so I’d be okay, that it would be a new slate but they were wrong. I knew most people from my primary school and having them already pick on me in primary school made me kind of nervous for secondary school.

I got bullied from year 7 to year 11 (my current year), it was awful, absolutely awful, I didn’t want to go to school. It’s not as bad now but it still happens.

So thinking back to how I first was when I started getting bullied in secondary school was horrible, it was worse than primary school. I ended up turning so quiet and I found it difficult to talk to people and make friends, not going to lie, I still do. The people that know me really well now will probably remember this, there was a time when I was really quiet. Now I’m quite loud and hyper all the time but that’s only because I have surrounded myself with positive things and positive people that I know support me 100%. The effect of the bullying  has caused me so many problem’s, I now find it difficult to talk to new people and I find it hard to make friends, it used to be because I had a constant fear that people wouldn’t like me and that they would bully me, it’s sort of the same now, but that is the effect and in today’s society people need to be able to make conversation but because of the bullying it’s been made difficult for me.

These are often the effects of bullying, people are made to feel small and they often have problem’s with social skills and other things. For example, me, I can’t socialize with new people, I can try to but I’m really shy, like today, we had a seating plan in science and I don’t really speak to the boy I was told to sit next to, so when he tried to have a conversation with me it was difficult, but it turned out okay because he understood why after I explained it to him.

Some people reading this will think I’m lying because now I’m all loud and joyful but there was a point when I was sat in a corner reading a book and listening to music, trying to block the bullies out, having no friends, because that’s the truth, I don’t really know how I’ve became friends with half the people I have, I think it’s because they started and carried on the conversation which is easier for me to do, but I’ve also got a ton of support with everything.

Watch what you say to people, words have a way to hurt people, they can save or end a life, make people loose self-esteem. So be careful because no one wants to be the reason someone is upset, the truth is no one does, they may act like they do but they don’t. Really they’re the one’s that’ll feel bad. Don’t stay silent, no problem is too small or too big, tell someone!

Okay, so that’s it for this week…hope that has helped or at least related to someone Smile I keep opening up to the internet, it’s quite scary aha. Have a good week! Keep smiling!

– Alison xx

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