Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019…

Hey guys, it’s been a while, I’m sorry, life’s just been so busy. Today is 4 years exactly since I started my blog and although I haven’t posted in ages (Sorry once again), I do want to start posting regularly again. So here’s a little recap of my year.

January and February – These were weird months, not a lot happened. I was working hard to complete the level 2 course that I was doing and spending a lot of time with people that I love.

March – I completed the Walk All Over Cancer challenge. I had to walk 10,000 steps a day for the whole 31 days of the month, it’s harder than it seems, especially when your working a desk job and are in college classes a majority of the time. It snowed in March, making it difficult to get out and about – It snows and the whole of England comes to a standstill. I raised £120.00 and £21.25 in gift aid.

April – I had to leave my work placement (for the college course I was doing) that I really enjoyed, it was so much fun and I enjoyed it so much, I was sad to leave. I also dyed my hair pink to raise more money for charity, I say I dyed it but I didn’t – I had help – Thank you Chloe + Charli.

May – This was the month that friendship groups grew closer, even though May was difficult, I soon realised who was really there for me and who wasn’t. I also realised that not everything always goes to plan (well duh) but, I realised that no matter how much preparation you can do for something, there is always something that can go wrong.

June – I graduated in June, it was a great month. This was the month that I realised I can do anything if I put my mind to it – Cheesy, but true. I also got my first ever trophy – Student of the Year – Whoop whoop!

July – I got a new job working in a cinema, I met some great people and learnt a lot.

August – This was the month of work, decisions and getting grades back. What a weird, wonderful and terrifying month. I DID get some of the grades I wanted, I DID get onto the course that I wanted to – I’m now working my way towards getting into University.

September – I went to my first ever baby shower! I turned 20! I had a birthday dinner (THERE WAS A UNICORN CAKE), it was great – I love ya’ll that turned up (You know who you are!) I had blue hair – Thank you Chloe + Charli! I got my head down and started the course I got accepted into. September was the month of leaving toxic environments behind – I don’t regret this one bit – I did, but not anymore.

October – This was the month of visiting old places, places that used to scare me, places where I have the best memories – I realise this sounds kind of odd given the last point, but visiting these places gave me so much inspiration to keep working hard.

November – I figured out what I really want to do – I know this may change but for the meantime, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I also cut a majority of my hair off in November, anyone that knows me really well will know how much my hair means to me, for me to cut a majority of it off took a lot, this might sound stupid but for me, it was a big thing. November was the month of volunteering and changing it up a bit, as always. It was a good month.

December – Where do I even begin with December? The month of making good choices. I’ve learnt a lot of new things this month and will continue to learn more. I’m progressing quite a bit from what and who I was in January. I sent my university application off as well – this was a big month for me.

So that’s my year wrapped up, I guess, I’m probably missing a lot, as usual, but I thought I should post one last blog post before the end of 2018. Thank you for everyone’s love and support (You know who you are). One of my new years’ resolutions is to defiantly start blogging more often – I miss writing. I’ve been writing posts all throughout the year, I just haven’t finished them or posted them. So stay tuned cause they’ll be posted soon.

May your 2019 be blessed with greatness. – Love Ally xx

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The Myths of Counselling VS The Truth…

Hey guys, so this week I am going to be writing about the myths and truths of counselling. But before I do, I just want to say a massive thank you for all the support that I got from last weeks blog post. I got so many messages and comments saying how proud people were of me and it made me so happy. Being told that I am brave for getting on the horse in the first place, and then being told that I am brave for even trying to conquer my fear, let alone succeed at doing it. Even after all that, I got told that I deserved all the kind words that I got. Honestly, all the support that I got made my week. You will never truly know how much the support means to me, just know that it means a lot and I will be forever grateful.

If you didn’t read last weeks blog post, be free to check it out here and let me know what you think in the comments of that post.

This weeks post is probably going to be me opening up to the internet again. But oh well! I have written about going to counselling before, so if you want to check out my post about that, that would be cool too. Here goes…

I know that quite a few people feel differently about counselling. I certainly know that I felt different when I got told that it would be good if I went to counselling. “It’ll be good for you.” “It’ll help you.”

In 2012, I was involved with a lot of different volunteering groups, in fact, I still am. But I used to go to a certain one straight after school, but because one day I turned up an hour late and I was upset. I was spoken to by someone who I trusted, he spoke to my dad aswell. He said that maybe I would benefit if I went to counselling. The reason I was late and was upset was because of bullying (I will probably write about this more in a different post soon but I wont go into too much detail now).

The definition of counselling… “The provision of professional assistance and guidance in resolving personal or psychological problems.”

“Counselling.” – That was kind of a scary word. Well it was for me, a 13-year-old girl. I didn’t want to go. I read about it in books, watched TV shows and films with this sort of thing in it. It was a typical girl gets bullied ends up going to counselling scenario. “Typical”, it’s a funny word that, the thing that I had read about and watched was turning into a reality.

I didn’t want to go, I had this idea in my head that people only go to counselling if there is something wrong with them, which isn’t the case, at all! My dad said that I had to try it, that I would have to go for a month and if I didn’t like it then it could stop. 4 years on and I’m still in counselling. Not because there is anything wrong with me but because the lady that I go to helps me out and gives me advice with bullying. When I first started going I was nervous and didn’t really want to be there. 2 years into counselling I found it difficult going, I didn’t mind but I found it difficult to talk about what was going on in my life (bullying). My thoughts now, 4 years later, I love to go to counselling, it’s the one day a week when I can talk as much as I want and get everything off my chest. It has defiantly helped a lot.

Okay, so there is a little bit of information about what I thought about counselling then and now. Now for the real reason I’m writing this post.

The Myths of Counselling VS The Truth…

I spent a few hours last week searching for a few myths from the internet about counselling, knowing me, this is probably the kind of thing I was thinking before I even went to counselling. Here we go…

“Only mad people need counselling.” – If you are reading this and you go to counselling, please don’t take it the wrong way. (1) It’s not always true and (2) it’s a myth that I found on the internet. I’m not going to lie when I got told that I would be going to counselling I thought that there was something wrong with me. Of course, I was wrong, counselling services are put in place to support someone.

The good old question of “how can a stranger help?” – Going to counselling means that you can vent your problems to someone, when I go to counselling it really helps because I can talk for an hour about everything and the weight that I am carrying on my shoulders is then lifted. The counsellor can give you advice and support with whatever it is that you may be going through and therefore they can help get you through a rough patch.

“Counsellors just sit there and say nothing.” – This isn’t true, I thought it would be but it’s not. At first they ask you to vent your problems, so I suppose at the beginning they just sit there but they are listening and then after they can give you the support and advice that you need.

“Counselling takes forever!” – This isn’t true either, it takes as long as you need it to be. The service helps support you and will give you advice. So I guess when you’re ready, you will know you’re ready and maybe it will be the end of counselling. The service is there for you as long as you need it to be.

“Everyone will know you’re seeing a counsellor.” – I thought this at the beginning too, but it’s not true. Unless you tell people, I didn’t at first, I told absolutely no one, apart from my best friend but over the years I have become more open about going to counselling. I opened up about it on my blog once before. But my point is, that going to counselling is 100% confidential and so no one will know unless you tell them.

“Counselling will change who you are as a person.” – I don’t think this is true. People change all the time. With the support that I have been given from friends, family and my counsellor I have become a stronger and more confident person. But I don’t believe it changes you. I don’t know, this one is complicated I suppose. Leave your opinion on this one in the comments below. I would really love to hear what you think.

I found a lot of myths on the internet about counselling but only decided to write about a few of them. With myths like that on the internet, how is someone supposed to think that going to counselling is a good thing.

I just wanted to say if you are reading this and you go to counselling or you have been told that it probably is best if you start going to counselling, its nothing to worry about. It just means that you are strong, you’re strong for going and getting the advice. I was against going to counselling, I didn’t want to share my problems with a stranger, problems that shouldn’t have happened in the first place, I didn’t want to sit in a room and talk about everything. But counselling has defiantly helped me, it has gave me the support I needed and it has gave me a confidence boost. If you have been told that maybe you should go to counselling, I recommend it, it has helped me so much and it makes you realise how much better things do get eventually.

Okay, so that’s it from me. I’ve posted on a Monday instead of a Thursday because I’m posting another blog post on Saturday that means a lot to me (Hint, hint, birthday post, hint.) 2 blog posts in one week, whoop-whoop! Anyways before I go I just wanted to say that you are stronger than you think! Accepting help from people makes you a strong and brave human being. Right that’s it… Stay strong, have hope and don’t settle for any less than you deserve! Next post on Saturday! Much love – Alison xx

A – Z Challenge! (My own style)

Hey guys, so recently I have been seeing a lot of these A – Z Challenges on my blog feed, I wanted to take part but I wanted to do it my own way and make it my own style. I was thinking about doing a different one every week but that’s a lot of blog posts and I would still be writing out the challenge by next year. So I thought, why not put it all into one blog post and switch it up a bit. Make it my own challenge. 

The initial idea for the actual challenge that others are doing is to write a blog post daily / weekly, but they have to write a blog post about the letter, so they start with A and make their way to Z, writing about 26 different words. I think its a great idea, but I thought I could mix it in with my blog.

I’m going to be writing 26 different words below (A – Z), but the words I pick will be linking to myself, my blog, an experience or a quote. Some of the letters I had difficulty with so I asked a few friends to help me pick (Thank you). I feel like its a bit of a chilled post! 

Hope you enjoy and maybe even learn a little more about me and the purpose of this blog.

Here goes…

A – Appreciate… I appreciate all the support that I get from everyone, it means so much to me and I wouldn’t be where I am today without all the support I have been given.

B – Bullies… They are the reason I am writing this blog, they have helped shape me into who I am. Although they have hurt me, they have made me stronger.

C – Chewing Gum… I’ve had a few difficult experiences with chewing gum, where people have found it funny to put it in my hair or on my clothes, it is nearly impossible to get off and its a right pain too!

D – Dreams… If you really, really want something in life then go for it. Go for your dreams and achieve as much as you can! You deserve it!

E – Enjoyable… Writing blog posts is enjoyable, its something that I love! I defiantly enjoy it when someone speaks to me face to face about how my blog has helped them. Oh! And all your wonderful comments are lovely to read!

F – Friends and family… The people that support me through everything, the people that I would be lost without.

G – Grateful… I am so grateful for all the support that I got through Pride of Reading and the support that I have gotten since I have started this blog.

H – Hopeful… You’ve got to have hope, no matter where you are at this point in your life, you have to stay hopeful and believe that even the impossible could happen!

I – Inspired… When I get told by someone that I have helped them, it really inspires me to write about how, and it even helps me improve the way I can help others.

J – J.K. Rowling… An amazing women that taught me that its okay to get your head stuck in a book. She taught me that even when things are going wrong in reality there is always fiction that can distract me from the real world. Wizards are better anyways!

K – “Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”  ― R.J. Palacio, Wonder.

L – Libraries… I ended up spending a lot of time in libraries from years 7 to 10, the library ended up being my favourite place to be. Getting stuck in a good book in a library is defiantly how to spend an hour usefully and still be happy with it!

M – Memories… My experiences that are now memories have moulded me into who I am.

N – Nervous… Something that I end up feeling a lot, but without the support from my friends and my dad I wouldn’t have done all of the things that I have done.

O – Old friends… “Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” – Francis Bacon

P – Pride of Reading… This blog most likely wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Pride of Reading, I didn’t think I was going to win the award that I was nominated for, I’m so very grateful to the people that have carried on supporting me since then and the awareness I have been able to raise about bullying due to this.

Q – (My favourite) Quote… “Be happy, be who you want to be. If others don’t like it then let them be. As the saying goes, happiness is a choice. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody!” – Unknown.

R – Role model… My dad is my role model, he means ever so much to me!

S – School… A place that I once loved to go, then hated, and now I’m starting to tolerate it. That’s all I have to say really…

T – Time… Over a long period of time I have managed to get myself to a good place for where I hoped to be. The ones that have brought me down are the ones that have made me stronger.

U – Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.” – Margaret Cho 

V – “Value friendship for what there is in it, not for what can be gotten out of it.” – H. Clay Trumbull

W – “Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results, and reasons simply don’t count.” Dr. Robert Anthony

X – XIEXIE… (I googled this…) I found out that it’s Chinease for thank you.

Y – You are loved… Because no matter how many times you think you aren’t and even when you have doubts you are still loved! It is important that you love yourself too.

Z – “Zeal without humanity is like a ship without a rudder, liable to be stranded at any moment.” – Owen Felltham

Okay, so that’s it from me for this week. I completed the challenge, it was actually really difficult looking for words that I wouldn’t usually use, it got more difficult towards the end. I had to Google a few… 

But anyways I hope everyone has a good rest of their week and I hope that those of you that had to collect their A Level results done well, no matter what you got, I’m proud of you! Have hope, stay strong and keep smiling! New blog post up next Thursday! Much love – Alison xx

Don’t run away from your problems, face them head on and don’t give up!

Hi guys! Okay, so over these last few months I’ve had quite a few problems with school, whether it’s been with the bullies, pointless arguments with friends or school work.

Over the past few years, every time I’ve been bullied it always got to the point where I’d always want to move schools or out of Reading, although whenever I asked my dad he always said no, this was because I shouldn’t have to move schools if I am doing okay academically. (Well, really, the first six times I asked he said yes but because things got better and I changed my mind, I never moved, after the sixth time of asking, he said I couldn’t move because it got to an important stage in my education).

Recently, I’d got to the point where I wanted to leave school again, not for good, but just to go somewhere else, to go to a different sixth form. I thought it would be easier. I just got to the point where I was so fed up with school that I thought it would get better if I moved. Although, yesterday, I really thought about it, why should I have to move? If I moved sixth form’s it would make sure that the bullies had won and that’s a fight that I’m not prepared to give up. I shouldn’t have to run from the bullies and that’s exactly what I would be doing if I had of left by now. I’m sticking in the same place until I either get a better offer or until it’s time to move on, I’m not a coward and therefore I’m not going to run away.

I’m not saying that people that move schools because of bullying are cowards – I’m really not, I’m so sorry that you had to move, it shouldn’t of came to that!

However, my point is that I’m sticking at the sixth form I’m at no matter what, I don’t see why I should leave. If I leave, the bullies have won and I won’t be able to make a difference and there’s no way I’m going to let that happen, I was put on this world to make my mark and that is exactly what I’m going to do.

I know that sometimes things get tough and you may just want to run away from it all but honestly if you are being bullied, just tell someone, use the advice from my previous blogs, it most likely will get sorted out if you tell them and if you don’t then it probably won’t (I know this is weird – but apparently, according to my dad, people don’t have a crystal ball and their not mind readers so if you don’t say anything it won’t get sorted. I know! Ridiculous, right?!).  If you are going through a tough time with friends then talk to them about it, nothing is going to get sorted if you just ignore each other, it’ll be worth it in the end. If the problem can’t be resolved then just don’t speak to each other – Obviously talk about the issue first.  Another thing that I’ve had problems with recently is school work, I stuck my head in the sand for a while and just kept worrying about it instead of asking for help, however this way (Since teachers don’t have crystal balls) I just struggled even more and therefore no work got done, really I just made it more difficult for myself.

The point of this blog post is to say that whatever you are going through, don’t run away from it, maybe talk to someone about it, if not it won’t get better.

When I was around 10 years old, I had a pair of pink tracksuit bottoms, they were my favourite! But when they ripped I didn’t tell my dad. I wasn’t careful with them, while outside playing football I ran straight past something (I can’t remember what it was) but whatever it was ripped my tracksuit bottoms. Anyways, I didn’t tell my dad, I was really worried that he would be cross with me, since they were only a day old, so I hid them under my bed for best part of a week, (Which in my mind seemed like a year), I attempted to sew up the hole but that went horribly wrong so I just hid them. Eventually he asked me why I didn’t wear them anymore (Obviously he already knew about it, he was just waiting for me to tell him), and I had to tell him – In fact it had built up so much guilt because they were new and  that I hadn’t told him, that I actually burst into tears and told him. Okay, so, the only reason I am telling you this is because if you are in a situation and you don’t communicate with others or you run away from the issue, it is never going to get resolved. My advice to you is to face your problems head on, even if there really scary, otherwise it will never get resolved and you don’t want the issue to repeat itself over and over, so just communicate. Trust me, it works.

Question for my followers: Have you ever faced up to something that you were really worried about? If so, and you feel comfortable with telling me – What was it? And how did you feel after? Let me know, in the comments below or message me. I’d love to hear about it.

That’s it from me this week, there will be a new blog post next week. Hope everyone has a great week in that time! Much love – Alison xx