Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019…

Hey guys, it’s been a while, I’m sorry, life’s just been so busy. Today is 4 years exactly since I started my blog and although I haven’t posted in ages (Sorry once again), I do want to start posting regularly again. So here’s a little recap of my year.

January and February – These were weird months, not a lot happened. I was working hard to complete the level 2 course that I was doing and spending a lot of time with people that I love.

March – I completed the Walk All Over Cancer challenge. I had to walk 10,000 steps a day for the whole 31 days of the month, it’s harder than it seems, especially when your working a desk job and are in college classes a majority of the time. It snowed in March, making it difficult to get out and about – It snows and the whole of England comes to a standstill. I raised £120.00 and £21.25 in gift aid.

April – I had to leave my work placement (for the college course I was doing) that I really enjoyed, it was so much fun and I enjoyed it so much, I was sad to leave. I also dyed my hair pink to raise more money for charity, I say I dyed it but I didn’t – I had help – Thank you Chloe + Charli.

May – This was the month that friendship groups grew closer, even though May was difficult, I soon realised who was really there for me and who wasn’t. I also realised that not everything always goes to plan (well duh) but, I realised that no matter how much preparation you can do for something, there is always something that can go wrong.

June – I graduated in June, it was a great month. This was the month that I realised I can do anything if I put my mind to it – Cheesy, but true. I also got my first ever trophy – Student of the Year – Whoop whoop!

July – I got a new job working in a cinema, I met some great people and learnt a lot.

August – This was the month of work, decisions and getting grades back. What a weird, wonderful and terrifying month. I DID get some of the grades I wanted, I DID get onto the course that I wanted to – I’m now working my way towards getting into University.

September – I went to my first ever baby shower! I turned 20! I had a birthday dinner (THERE WAS A UNICORN CAKE), it was great – I love ya’ll that turned up (You know who you are!) I had blue hair – Thank you Chloe + Charli! I got my head down and started the course I got accepted into. September was the month of leaving toxic environments behind – I don’t regret this one bit – I did, but not anymore.

October – This was the month of visiting old places, places that used to scare me, places where I have the best memories – I realise this sounds kind of odd given the last point, but visiting these places gave me so much inspiration to keep working hard.

November – I figured out what I really want to do – I know this may change but for the meantime, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. I also cut a majority of my hair off in November, anyone that knows me really well will know how much my hair means to me, for me to cut a majority of it off took a lot, this might sound stupid but for me, it was a big thing. November was the month of volunteering and changing it up a bit, as always. It was a good month.

December – Where do I even begin with December? The month of making good choices. I’ve learnt a lot of new things this month and will continue to learn more. I’m progressing quite a bit from what and who I was in January. I sent my university application off as well – this was a big month for me.

So that’s my year wrapped up, I guess, I’m probably missing a lot, as usual, but I thought I should post one last blog post before the end of 2018. Thank you for everyone’s love and support (You know who you are). One of my new years’ resolutions is to defiantly start blogging more often – I miss writing. I’ve been writing posts all throughout the year, I just haven’t finished them or posted them. So stay tuned cause they’ll be posted soon.

May your 2019 be blessed with greatness. – Love Ally xx

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I’m dressing up as a UNICORN and fundraising for CANCER RESEARCH UK!

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I’m sorry about that, lifeunicorn has been hectic, exams are coming up, etc. I’ve written things, I just haven’t had time to finish and post them. I’m working on a few things at the moment which will come very soon – So stay tuned for that!

But for now, I’m here to promote what I’m getting up to this weekend!

When: Saturday 26th & Sunday 27th May 2018

 

Where: Outside the Cancer Research shop (75 Broad Street, Reading, RG1 2AF)

 

Why? In March I did a ‘10K steps a day’ challenge, I succeeded in doing all 31 days of March. If I hadn’t of succeeded I would have had to do this as a forfeit, but I’m doing it anyway. So, I’m dressing up as a unicorn and fundraising outside the Cancer Research UK charity shop!

Turns out there is a method to my madness. I’m really excited for this! Everything is falling into place. If you would like to donate but can’t make it, my just giving page that I used in March is still open. Okay, so that’s it until next time. I hope to see you there! All donations are welcome! – Ally xx

Anti-Bullying Week 2017

Hi guys! So I haven’t posted in a while and I apologise for that (I’ve been asked by a few people to post something – I got asked in September but I haven’t felt like writing). Thing is, this blog is like my diary, a place to write when I’m upset or frustrated about something and over the past few months, I really haven’t felt that way.

I’ll explain. I went from somewhere where I was afraid to walk around, wouldn’t say boo to a ghost, I was scared to even go to school, let alone be who I really am. However, in September, I started college, I’m 3 months into college and I love it! I’ve made friends, something I didn’t think I would do, I haven’t had anyone say anything horrible to me, and I’m not worried about walking around. I actually like waking up early in the morning to go to college. Whereas with sixth form, I dreaded it and had to be dragged out of bed in the morning.

Being 100% honest, my dad told me to apply for college and I’m so lucky and grateful that he did because I am having a great time there and have met amazing people who I know I’m going to be friends with for a long time. I didn’t want to apply, he told me I needed to apply or give up on education as I didn’t have another choice. I was so scared, I really didn’t want to go, I didn’t even want to try it, to see what it was like.

I don’t think it’s an age thing, it’s because I genuinely am in a better environment. But I don’t think I would be who I am without the experiences I had.

At Little Heath School, I had horrible things said to me on almost a daily basis, I was pushed around and terrified to walk down the alley to go to school and go home. I was terrified to sit on my own during free periods, terrified to even go and get my lunch on my own. I was in a really bad place, I didn’t want to go to the sixth form anymore but had to – just to get the grades that I needed to get into college.

I’m now in a place where they have a zero tolerance of any kind of bullying, where if anyone bullies someone they get kicked out, they actually care about students wellbeing and what they think about themselves. I know this is true and not something that they say to keep people happy as I’ve witnessed it where someone has been told off and sent to an office where they got told they were getting kicked out if they carried on.

Too right as well, no one deserves to get bullied. I wouldn’t wish some of the stuff that has happened to me, on anyone, no one deserves it, I know what it did to me and so I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone else.

On my first day at college, I was nervous as heck, I didn’t think I would make any friends. I knew people there already but they are doing a different course to me and so I knew I wouldn’t see them as much as I would want to in college. On the first day, I was put with two people who helped me develop my confidence (to walk into the lunch hall) (to spend free periods by myself), it sounds stupid but after Little Heath, I really was THAT scared.

I then ended up making friends with this lovely group of girls and I don’t really know how it happened, we’re on the same course but I don’t know how I went from being really shy and not talking to anyone (I tried but it was difficult), to being able to have friendly banter, sing along on coaches (even if it is to High School Musical) and be genuinely comfortable around them. It’s odd but it happened and I’m honestly really happy.

I’m not saying I didn’t have this at Little Heath, I did, but only with a few people and I was terrified to walk around. Whereas now, I’m not, we spend our lunches singing or messing about. I can walk into the lunch hall without worrying about what people say, and I’m genuinely happy to be there.

To my actual point of this post…

This week is Anti-Bullying Week and I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, so here I am, having my voice heard, sat here writing this post.

If you are being bullied or know someone who is, speak out, tell someone, or if you know someone who is being bullied try to support them as much as you can.

I know that if it weren’t for three of the teachers, support from some of my friends and the support from my dad, that I wouldn’t have made it out of Little Heath, I would have given up and left. So in a way, I would have made it out of Little Heath but it would have been pointless, the last 7 years of me struggling and putting in effort to pass would have been for nothing – but I did it, I pulled through and managed to finish, no matter how difficult things got towards the end.

So please, for your own sake, tell someone, a parent, a friend, a sibling, even your favourite teacher – someone is bound to help you and hopefully, it will get sorted.

Bullying in schools needs to be taken more seriously, I was told so many times, “sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you”, the thing is they do hurt, and yes some people can ignore it but I am one of those that can’t. However, now I’m sort of in a place where I don’t care, mainly because I’m not worried about seeing them daily, or being physically hurt. It doesn’t matter to me anymore, I can have a good old rant to my best mate over text about how I hate bullies and it’s all better, I feel so much better after.

So this year, I’m saying enough is enough, I will no longer let myself care about what you say because although it is tough sometimes, the bullies are not worth it.

So whether it’s bullying that’s happening face to face or bullying that’s happening online, tell someone, it won’t make the situation worse.

Speak out, support others and do something about it. Don’t let people stand alone, don’t let the bullies win.

I’m really lucky, I have a really good support system, I have my dad, my brother and some of my family. My friends that I have known for the longest time (you know who you are), the guys and girls from Young Carers, and the new people who I have met at college.

If you lot see this, thank you, you all mean so much to me. I miss a lot of you (Those that I haven’t seen in a while) and I always end up taking a leaf out of your books, I walk around with my head held high and I focus on my good days, not my bad days. I do realise that things do get better and although I didn’t believe it, to begin with, deep down I believe its true – even on the days that are really bad.

A big thank you to two of the greatest people I have ever met for helping me get around the college and help me out with where I was going, introducing me to people, etc. It is greatly appreciated. Also a big thank you to those that text me day in, day out when I was alone to make sure I was okay.

Last one – Another big thank you to the girls at college (whether you see this or not, I mean every word, as cheesy as it is), thank you for accepting me, understanding me and allowing me to be who I really am, I don’t have to pretend or tone it done and that is great! You allow me to be the crazy me, I have always been. Purely because you lot are just as crazy as me (I’m not saying High School Musical is a bad choice of songs but this sentence kind of sums it up).

Okay so that’s it, I will try to post more. I have some things in my drafts that need posting, it’s just having the time to do it, but I shall try. This was my space to rant and write and express myself when I couldn’t elsewhere, and now that I can be who I truly am without any grief, I don’t really have to write anymore. I’m not saying I don’t love writing, I just have less reason to. So I’m going to turn this space into somewhere, where people can read and get help with whatever they may be going through – that’s the goal anyway. Have a good week, keep smiling and stay strong. Leave a comment and I’ll get back to you as soon as I see it (as always). Much love, Ally xx

GRADES SHOULD NOT MATTER.

Hey, guys! So two weeks ago I collected my A Level results and a lot of people collected their AS Level results. A week ago, it was GCSE results day and a lot of people went to go collect their results.

I know I haven’t posted in a while – I’ve been busy (I know, shocker). But I thought I’d post a short blog post as last week someone gave me the inspiration to write this but I didn’t really get around to it. So since I have found the time to write I thought I would share my thoughts on the grading system and all sorts of other things related to grades, results day, schools, sixth forms, colleges, universities and jobs!

So when you want to get into sixth form, college, university or even get a job, a majority of the time you need good grades to show for it so that you get accepted. I know everyone already knows this but I think it should be done differently. I know some might disagree with me but then again it’s just my opinion. If you’re going to be rude in the comments just click off the tab now, I don’t mind other people’s opinions – in fact, it’s great, it starts a conversation, but don’t send hate. It’s easy not to do 🙂

– Going off course of what I’m talking about but it all links –

I don’t know about you but when I look at someone it’s more about what kind of person they are rather than looks. I know for a majority of people it’s the same. Well, I think it should be the same when sixth forms, colleges, universities or jobs pick you to study there / do the job.

– Wait –

I think that a majority of the time it probably should be about what kind of grades the person has got but sometimes it shouldn’t be. For example, I suck at exams, no matter how hard I try or how much I revise, I really struggle with exams, it’s already public knowledge that I do as most of the time I had to ask friends for help when it came to exam content.

I’m good at coursework, I work hard on it, and if someone were to look at what I do outside of school and the type of person I am then they would see that I do a lot of voluntary work and all I can to help others (If I can help someone then I will).

My point is, I think getting onto a course or getting a job should be like looking for someone to date, instead of looking at their looks (the grades), they should look and see what the person is really like (how hard they work, their extra curricular activities).

At the end of the day, a lot of people get let down by how exams went (not because of how hard they worked but because of their exams – everyone stresses with exams and sometimes the stress causes more problems for some than others).

My point – It shouldn’t matter about grades, it should matter how motivated someone is and how badly they want something – whether they are going to work hard for it or not.

Fair do’s for those that can do exams and get good grades – well done! It’s just that some may not be able to and so it shouldn’t always be looks over what they’re really like. I know a lot of people work really hard for exams and pass – I’m not saying I don’t. It’s just my opinion.

Okay, so that’s it for the mean while. Until next time, have a good week, keep smiling, and think about things before you say them – if it’s not helpful or kind then is there really any point in you saying it? If it doesn’t benefit others what’s the point of saying it? Hope you enjoyed reading, share this post if you agree (maybe, up to you :)). – Stay strong and stay positive. Much love – Ally xx

Christmas Tag 2016

Hey guys! So as it is the 1st December, I thought I’d do a Christmas tag! It sounds exciting,tumblr_nfx1rgkimr1sfku6po1_500 enjoy!

  1. What is your favourite Christmas Movie/s?
    Oh, there are so many! Elf, The Polar Express, Jingle all the way, The Holiday, Love Actually, I could go on forever. There are so many brilliant ones!
  2. Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
    Christmas morning, I don’t really understand this whole thing about opening them on Christmas Eve.
  3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?
    Every Christmas is my favourite memory, I love watching my brothers face as he unwraps his presents.
  4. Favourite festive food?
    It’s got to be the roast potato’s!
  5. Favourite Christmas gift?
    Every book I have ever been brought for Christmas, haha
  6. Favourite Christmas scent?
    You know when your sat around the dining table and all the food is in front of you and there are like a mix of smells..? That scent.
  7. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?
    Seeing how many Christmas films we can watch in the space of 24 hours seems to be a big tradition in our house, is that even a tradition or just something that most people do?
  8. What tops your tree?
    A star, it’s always so pretty!
  9. As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) gift you asked for but never received?
    Not that I’m ungrateful or anything, not at all, but when I was about 8 I wanted a unicorn. Not a toy one, a real one. As Toys-R-Us didn’t seem to sell those, my dad brought me a toy unicorn… The next best thing!
  10. What’s the best part about Christmas for you?
    Being together with family, it’s the best part about it no matter what. Getting to spend hours on end with people who I don’t often see is great!
  11. What is your favourite Christmas song?
    Seems a bit cliché but “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” I mean who doesn’t like that song? It gets really annoying by the end of December but after 12 months of not hearing it, its great again!
  12. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
    Rudolph, Prancer, Dancer… Nope… I used to be able to, it was like a competition to see who could remember all of them, ha! Oh, how times have changed.
  13. Be honest: do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?
    100% honesty, I love giving gifts. If I have put a lot of effort into thinking what I’m getting someone and then finally get it for them, I get really excited. I love seeing their face as they unwrap the present, it makes me so happy!
  14. Are you a pro-present wrapper, or do you fail miserably?
    I fail miserably, if you have ever got a present from me, you will know just how bad my wrapping is. I use so much sellotape, although most of the time it’s so I can have a bit of a giggle with the person trying to open it.
  15. Do you make New Years resolutions? Do you stick to them?
    I always end up making New Years resolutions, I stick to some of them but not all. They seem impossible to keep up.
  16. If you could only buy one person a present this year, who would it be?
    My brother (Sorry, not really that sorry to be honest).
  17. Have you ever built a Gingerbread house?
    Yes! We made so much mess it was unreal, but it was so fun to do! If you’ve never made one I would really recommend it, it doesn’t matter how old you are, they are so fun!
  18. Candy Canes or Gingerbread Men?
    Gingerbread Men all the way! Candy Canes are okay, they look pretty but that’s about it.
  19. What’s your Favourite Christmas Color?bqjnekyexot4brdrsc9fksjtyi8
    Red.
  20. Have you ever built a snowman?
    Yes, it was so much fun! We always try to build one whenever it snows, they are so funny to build.

Okay, so here it is, my Christmas Tag! Hope you enjoyed and maybe even got to know a little more about me! If you like you could give your answers to some of the questions below? It would be interesting to know more about you guys. I know it’s not really what I usually post but I thought I’d do something new! New blog post next Thursday! Have a lovely week and keep smiling! The Christmas holidays will be here before you know it! Much love – Alison xx

“Bullying is just a part of growing up”

Hey guys! So I guess today I am going to be writing about the quote that I have put as the title. I got this said to me a few years ago, I got it said to me a few months ago, and then someone also said it to me again last week. It doesn’t matter how many times I hear this, each time it just makes me so angry.

Before I start writing about this, I just want to say thank you, thank you for the messages and the support, because although I did get asked who “Kelly” was, by quite a few people last week, the support meant more to me than the grief I got for not telling people who it was. I just shook it off, the support means ever so much, probably more to me than anyone will ever realise.

Okay, so as I have already said. In Year 7, when the bullying started to get worse I got told that “bullying is just a part of growing up“, for some reason I started to believe it, but then wondered why not as many people were getting bullied / getting bullied as bad as I was. Then a few months ago, I got told the same thing… I also got told this same thing again last week… I’m not going to lie, it annoyed me so much!

“Bullying is just a part of growing up.”

Imagine having this said to you while you’re sat in an office in tears. It was horrible! The first time it got said to me I didn’t really understand. Why me? I knew quite a few people got bullied but not everyone did, so if it was just a part of growing up, why wasn’t everyone else going through the same thing.

It just really annoyed me. Learning how to ride a bike, watching reruns of Scooby Doo, going to school, and then eventually getting on with your life (a job, university or college), is just part of growing up! Bullying is not!

I don’t really understand how anyone can think that it’s just a part of growing up…

Imagine, being bullied because you got into an accident (I know, stupid right?), and being told that the bullying is just a part of growing up. HOW?!

I don’t think I’m ever going to understand how anyone could possibly think this. It shouldn’t be a part of growing up, no one should have to go through it.

I’ve done a bit of research and some have said that it’s only done to help you toughen up for adult life. However, I don’t really understand how that works because in some cases where the bullying is so serve, some people don’t make it to adulthood, or they then have trouble in life because they don’t know how to speak to people, afraid of being bullied.

“In previous generations, people perceived bullying to be a normal part of growing up. It was seen as a rite of passage that kids needed to help them toughen up so that they could face the world. We now know that this isn’t true.

Bullies attack others because they enjoy attacking others. Bullying causes psychological and sometimes physical damage. It is the repeated use of superior power intended to harm another person through physical threat, humiliation, or isolation. Bullying is not a normal aspect of human interaction — it is an abuse of it.

Bullying doesn’t ‘toughen up’ a victim. It weakens them. Seven out of 10 targets of bullying have difficulty forming lasting relationships as adults. They struggle with anger management, resentment, and trusting others. They are more likely to deal with depression, get lower grades, and have anxiety.”https://www.justsayyes.org/bullying/is-bullying-normal-behavior/

“As far as children go more than half (55%) of children in Europe who have been bullied said they became depressed as a result, according to a BeatBullying report. Over a third saying they harmed themselves (35%) or thought about suicide (38%).”http://www.itv.com/goodmorningbritain/news/is-bullying-just-a-part-of-growing-up

I didn’t want to add a ton of sources that proved my point because that’s probably boring, but I found quite a lot. I found some that said it was just a part of growing up but I don’t see how.

Bullying never helped me, in any way whatsoever, so I don’t know how it can help anyone else. I might just be seen as biased…

I wanted to make sure that I wrote about this, people just need to be a little more careful about what they say because if I hadn’t of had it said to me before, it may have upset me a little. It upset me the first time, it just annoyed me the other times that it has been said to me.

I don’t really know how to end this blog post today, I know it’s not like the usual thing I write about but this annoyed me enough to make me write about it. So here it is… That’s it from me this week. Hope you enjoyed!

If you have an opinion on this, then let me know in the comments or just message me… Let’s get a conversation started on this topic! Why not! I’m excited to see what you think!

Facebook page: http://facebook.com/myinsanewxnderland

Twitter: https://twitter.com/pink_duck1

There will be a new blog post up next Thursday as usual! Have hope, stay strong, keep smiling and have a great week! Remember not to settle for any less than you deserve! Much love – Alison xx

Counselling…

Hey guys! Before I start I just want to say a massive thank you for the messages and comments that I got from last week’s blog post. It means a lot! Fingers crossed I have helped at least someone with it, even if its not about their glasses, maybe it’s about something else, I don’t know, but hopefully I’ve helped someone. That’s the goal. It kind of means a lot, I got quite a few messages about the picture I posted, you guys are the best!!

Okay, so this week I did the same again where I got someone to pick a number without knowing any of the ideas and here’s what they picked. Well, they didn’t pick this idea, but you probably get what I mean.

So throughout this blog post I have changed the name of the person involved. I’m going to name this person Kelly (for anyone that may get confused, mainly just for me). I’ve changed the name because I want to keep it confidential.

About 2 years ago, (that’s about 2 years into going to counselling), I was sat in the waiting room, waiting to go into the little room to see my counsellor. It was all fine, same old same old. Until someone walked in that I didn’t want to. I was kind of shocked but kind of nervous because at the time only 5 of my closest friends knew that I went to counselling. In walks Kelly… She started staring at me and sat next to me…

Here’s why it was a big deal. She had been bullying me with her friends for years, and at that point I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I didn’t want to be sat next to her. She smiled at me and started to make conversation…

Kelly: “Why are you here? I didn’t know you went to counselling.”

Me: “Cause of bullying. No one really knows to be honest.”

Kelly: “Who bullies you?”

Me: “Quite a few people…”

Kelly: “Oh, I never knew.”

I didn’t want to say, “YOU”, it wasn’t just her but I didn’t want any trouble. I just wanted that to be the end of it and to be left alone. I never asked her why she was there, obviously she was there for counselling but I didn’t ask why, I didn’t want to know, it’s private. I never saw her there again after that, I didn’t know why, but then again it didn’t really bother me.

It made me think though, either she didn’t know that what she was doing was bullying or she just really didn’t know that I got bullied… I don’t know… But after that, every time her friends said something to me, she would tell them to shut up. It meant a lot and I really appreciated it.

I guess my point is that some may not know what they are really doing until their eyes are opened. Of course that doesn’t mean that it’s okay, no way is it okay, but maybe, just maybe they don’t know their doing it. About 10% of the time, I have noticed that someone won’t mean what they’ve just said; it’s either that or their just really good at lying… I don’t know… I’m always surprised when people say they didn’t realise it was bullying, I just don’t understand how they don’t realise..?

Recently, I bumped into Kelly again; she said hi to me and started a conversation. That’s what sparked the inspiration for this blog post…

Okay… This is kind of a short blog post this week. I wanted to write about this but didn’t really know how to write it so my friend helped me with choosing a fake name. I know this doesn’t really have a point to it, I just wanted to write about it.

Before I finish this week’s post, I just wanted to give a shout out to the wonderful person that told me that Tuesday was a year ago since I created my Facebook page for my blog. Which you can check out here: http://facebook.com/myinsanewxnderland if anyone is interested. It would mean a lot. I get quite a few messages on there; they really do brighten my day so thank you so much! It’s the small things in life…

That’s it from me this week. Hope you enjoyed reading this! There will be a new blog post up next Thursday as usual! Have hope, stay strong, keep smiling and have a great week! Remember not to settle for any less than you deserve! Much love – Alison xx

Four Eyed Freak!!!

Hey guys, so this weeks blog post has been picked for me. I wrote a list of things I could write about and numbered them. I then got a friend to pick a number without knowing what it was and here we are… This weeks blog post is kind of like a diary entry (I suppose?). I’m going to be visiting the past once again. Enjoy!

I’m going to be writing about the grief that I got for wearing glasses. Why did I get it? I don’t know to be honest. There just glasses, a lot of people wear them.

I reckon it was because it’s just another thing that someone can bully me about. Why stick with the names that you already call me when you could upset me even more! What a fantastic idea! Of course, now I’m over it, and no one takes the mickey out of my glasses anymore.

I got glasses in around Year 5, no one really wore them back then, but then I had to start wearing them. I got called a four eyed freak. I had a pair of purple circular glasses at the time. I think there were only three kids with glasses in the year at the time, not 100% sure, can’t really remember. But it was a new thing, not many people had them.

They were taken off me quite regularly. People would put them on and mimic my voice while saying cruel things. They would take them and run away so I wouldn’t get them back for ages. As a 9 / 10-year-old, of course this really upset me. It would hurt any kid. Let’s be honest, unless you are just one of those kids that don’t care (Lucky you! No sarcasm intended), I kind of wish I was like that. It would have been a lot easier. Secretly though, I have realised that everyone cares, it’s just whether they show it or not that counts. I on the other hand couldn’t hide it. It’s either that or people just don’t care!

There was a group of people who would run up to me, call me a four eyed freak and then run away again, it made me feel different to everyone else. I didn’t know why they were doing it or what I had done, it’s just something that they did. It made me feel really different to everyone else and thinking about it now, kind of makes me feel quite sad, I don’t understand why they did that and I suppose I never will. I do know that it made me feel horrible though.

There was this one guy that loved to break my glasses. The first time my glasses fell off, he stepped on them and they broke. At first I just thought it was an accident, after all, no one knew they were going to fall off. So my dad got them repaired and that was the end of it.

But then again, it wasn’t the end of it at all. After the standing on my glasses incident, he took them off me and bent them in half, thinking it was hilarious. This really upset me because I knew that my dad just went to get them repaired.

There were a few more incidents where he took my glasses from me and stood on them again and pulled the arms off them. He also cracked the lenses quite a lot. So as you can probably tell, I didn’t really like wearing glasses at this point. They always got broken and the excuse was, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t know they would break.” It really upset me.

“Why did you let him have your glasses in the first place?” I didn’t. The first time was an accident, or that’s what I believe anyway. The other times I was cleaning them and he snatched them out of my hands, or he would just take them off me when I was looking at him.

I didn’t really understand how this was funny… But for some reason it was funny to him. My dad went up to school after a few times of it happening and spoke to the head teacher about it. After about a year of it going on, it kind of stopped. The breaking of my glasses stopped but the name calling didn’t. Each time they found a different way to upset me.

This went on until the start of secondary school. In secondary school, the name calling related to me wearing glasses, ended by the start of Year 9. However, they then found other ways to upset me.

 

Near the end of 2014, I got told I no longer had to wear glasses. I was so relieved! I was so happy about it! It was a big deal for me because I knew that I wouldn’t have the possibility of being called a four eyed freak anymore!ribbet-collagev

I enjoyed not wearing glasses so much!

However, a few weeks ago I got told I had to start wearing glasses again. It didn’t bother me whatsoever, because I kind of like wearing glasses and I knew that a lot of people had matured so there would be no more name calling. So far I’m right, and honestly I don’t think its going to happen anytime soon. Even if it does, I’m really not that bothered, there glasses. Get over it. A load of people wear glasses! Did you know that 6 out of 10 people in the world wear glasses or contact lenses? That’s so many people!

If you see someone being teased about something that they have to wear (Glasses, braces, etc.), please, please, please, just stop it. You could really make a difference. I know that sounds a bit stupid but its true, you could help someone with their confidence, now wouldn’t that be great!

***UPDATE***

*So after showing a few close friends the picture that I have put in this blog post, a few of them laughed. A few of them questioned me and asked if I really wanted to put the picture from 2009 up. My answer is yes, I’m not bothered about what anyone says or thinks, it’s a very old picture and I’ve changed. I’m not bothered. Why should the possibility of getting grief stop me from posting what I want on my blog. Saying this though, quite a few of my friends said to go for it. It’s already on the internet anyway, most people have seen it, and if I’m not bothered, what is the real issue? Just thought I’d leave a little update at the bottom of this post. Although if I do get any hate I will be naming and shaming, there’s no need for the hate or bullying, there’s already enough negativity in this world!*

Okay, so that’s it from me this week. Another blog post where I have opened up a bit more. I didn’t tell a lot of people about this, only about 5 of my friends know that this happened to me. It’s not really something that I talk about because it doesn’t bother me anymore. But here we go. Hope you enjoyed reading this! There will be a new blog post up next Thursday as usual! Have hope, stay strong, keep smiling and have a great week! Remember not to settle for any less than you deserve! Much love – Alison xx

Why I hate April Fools Day…

Before I write about why I hate April Fools Day, I just want to say a massive thank you for all the support I got from my last blog post about being hit by a taxi, the support was great. I was so worried about posting it because of the hate I got last time but the support has really helped, and everyone that spoke to me, didn’t make a joke about it or anything which was great! The support I got from that post has made me think about writing this one, so thank you. Anyways, back to this post…

So tomorrow it is the first day of April, famously known as April Fools Day. Does anyone know why the day exists? Besides playing jokes on other people, I’d really like to know!

This year the day falls during the Easter half term, but usually the day falls on a school day. I’ve only ever been to school once on April fools day, but other than that, I’ve had every other April fools day off school because of a few incidents that happened on that one April fools day that was a school day. 

It was in year 7, in a maths class. Half way through the class the boy that sat behind me tapped my shoulder, so I turned around, a few of the girls in the back were laughing and some of the boys were encouraging him. They all knew what was going to happen but I didn’t have a clue. He asked me out, as a joke obviously. As a “April Fools” joke. Before I could answer, the teacher told us all to be quiet and for me to turn around, he then took me out of the lesson 10 minutes later because certain people in my class wouldn’t leave me alone. He asked me if I realised what day it was. I had already spoke to him about being bullied before and so he knew what was happening. There was about 10 minutes left of the lesson and so he told me to get my bag and to have an early break. When I walked back in to the class to get my bag, he asked me again and I said no, to which I got some horrible comments, you name it and it was most likely said to me. Even though it was an April Fools joke, for the next couple of weeks, I got picked on about it.

Another thing that has happened, mainly because I stopped going to school on April Fools day, I would get messages from people, asking me out as a joke or they would say really nice things to be and then once I’d say thank you, they would message me back saying April Fools with a rather rude reply. So even when I didn’t go to school, and I was in the comfort of my own home, they would still be able to attack me with their horrid words…

One year, a bunch of boys came up to me and started talking to me (“So what Alison, their just talking to you” – I know, I know…) but because they were being so nice to me, I found it weird and asked them why they were talking to me, (I wasn’t even rude! It was just a genuine question!). To which they responded by throwing yogurt at me…I had to buy a new school jumper… It was humiliating. A teacher made me walk away and go to the bathroom to sort myself out. Half of my (No longer) friends sat there and laughed at me as well. Even when it’s 5/6 years on, I still don’t find it funny, it was humiliating and uncalled for. As I walked away with what friends I had left, the group of boys told me that no one really liked me and called me so many names. I ended staying off school for the rest of the week. I never got an apology for it either…

So here’s what I have to say, if you are planning on pranking someone tomorrow, please don’t be too cruel or mean about it, you have no idea what they are going through and would you really want to be seen as mean to other pupils? I suppose some people don’t care, but just think about it, if that was you, would you find it funny?

Anyway, that’s it from me this week, new post next Thursday. Hope you all have a lovely week! Thank you for all the support, I’ve really enjoyed reading the comments, emails and messages that I have been getting. Much love – Alison xx

Taxis…

Once again I’m opening up to the internet, this is the moment where I secretly hide under a cover as I write and post this… On Sunday, 31451_457002781034620_638681108_nit was three years since I had got hit by a taxi. Now before you read that and ask, “Well why are you posting about this?”, I’m writing about it to open up. I finally feel as if I can talk about it and all the bullying I got because of it. If you are a decent human being then you hopefully won’t laugh or comment anything hurtful.

12782136_971472036276017_198400195_nmmI can’t really remember what was happening, all I can remember was that I was on my way to counselling and then next thing you know I’m on the floor. I had the next day off school and didn’t tell ANYONE what happened, because I knew exactly what would happen. I knew that I would get picked on for it. I went back to school, two days after the accident happened, walked into form and BOOM, everyone knew about it. I instantly walked back out and phoned my dad, he said that I should try and stay at school and see what happens, that I had to try not to worry and to keep calm. My phone was blowing up with a load of people that didn’t even usually talk to me, asking if it was true. I’m not going to lie, I felt trapped, I felt as if I couldn’t escape, it hurt. I used my phone as a way to escape from everything but that 12596390_977544935647066_216369862_nvgwas blowing up to and I didn’t know what to do. Anyone that is reading this is probably 12325380_971471669609387_488241546_ngwondering why I didn’t just ignore it, truth is, when you walk into your form room and things are said it is hard to block it out, same as when I went on my phone, my phone is my escape so it was really difficult for me to ignore anything that was said because it was everywhere.

I had to spend the next month with people talking about it, laughing at me and sending me horrible messages. How can you ignore that? 12769646_971471972942690_450635370_nhhI wanted to become invisible. I wanted to leave school. I wanted everything to be normal again, normal for me was being picked on about my weight so me writing that doesn’t really make sense. I just wanted everyone to be quiet and talk about something else.

Whenever I got hate about it, whether it was over text or face to face, sometimes I would use humour to try and ease the pain that 12884362_977544945647065_49117320_n;they were causing, it only worked 6 times out of 10, the other times, I would get a horrible reply or people would laugh at the other persons insult. I just felt so isolated, I didn’t know what to do.

What I still don’t understand though is why they laughed? What’s so funny about being hit by a taxi? Is it amusing? You hear every other day that someone has been hit by a car and someone has died, why don’t you laugh about that? I’ll tell you why, because it’s cruel. So if you won’t laugh about some random person dying in a bike accident (I’m not saying you should – IT’S WRONG!!!), why laugh about my bike accident? I don’t think I will ever be able to understand it. I asked someone a few months ago why they laughed about it, and all I got was, “Because it was funny.” Would it have been funny if I was put in hospital? Don’t even answer that because I know for some people, the answer would still be yes.

Some people still talk about it now, I’ll be laughing with someone about something and someone will say, “Do you remember that time when you got hit by a taxi?” or I’ll get random comments about how “hilarious” it was that it happened to me.

12782463_971469586276262_1865470977_n1111 12804277_971469522942935_720423528_n22222      10425569_971472029609351_302923699_ns

When I opened up about it – After everyone knew, I got so many comments and messages about it. Not going to lie, it hurt. Some people don’t understand that something like that could have an impact on that person, even if there wasn’t a physical impact. There was definitely a emotional and mental impact. I was terrified of going to school because I knew things would be said to me. It also had an impact on me when I got my new bike, I wouldn’t ride my bike anywhere for a whole month because I was worried it would happen again, and even when I did manage to start riding my bike again, it wasn’t the same. I had this constant worry that it would happen again. It still kind of does, have an impact on me… 12788200_971471872942700_1111479247_n - 11 12782478_971471856276035_24227326_n - 22 12516309_971471849609369_1234492978_n - 33

I realise that the screenshots that I have shown aren’t really that bad (to some peoples standards) but I’m telling you, that’s just a few of them, I had to be careful with what I put up because some of the language was so vulgar.

I told my cousin what I was going to write about on my blog this week and he asked me if I really wanted to bring this back. I thought about it all week, I wrote half of this and then came back to it. I am so much stronger (Mentally and emotionally) than I was three years ago, half the time people say things to me, I am able to ignore them. So yes, I am going to post this and I probably will get some sort of comments from ignorant people, but hey, that’s okay. It’s people like you that make me stronger (Mentally and emotionally), so I guess, really, I should be thanking you. But of course I won’t, cause I’m not thankful for what you put me through.

I want to say thank you to all of those people (You know who you are) that supported me through this, it means so much to me, I don’t know what I would do without you! Especially a big thank you to my dad for being there for me through all of this, I love you.

Okay, so, that’s it from me for this week! Hope you are enjoying reading my blog posts. Thank you so much for all the support! We broke up from school today for Easter half term, so if you also get half term, hope you have a great one and if not, enjoy the bank holidays! New blog post next Thursday! Much love – Alison xx