Hey guys, so this week I have finally decided to talk about something that I have never really had the guts to talk about out loud. I know this isn’t out loud, but this is as loud as it is going to get at the moment.
Mainly because I thought about the consequences of me talking, I thought about how stupid it may sound for me not saying “no”, but you know what? I’m in a good place in my life where I can finally talk about things like this. As I said last week, I no longer care.
So when I was younger (That makes me sound so old), in primary school, I had my hair cut by a boy in my class. I’m obviously going to explain what happened and not just leave it there…
Okay, so I was around 6 years old, (I was in Year 1) when this whole incident happened. But this boy who was sat behind me used to talk to me when the teacher went out to get things. I remember what happened really well, which is really odd for me as it was a long time ago. But anyways, one day we were doing an activity with scissors and as the teacher went out, he asked me if he could cut my hair. I said no the first time, but the second time he made me feel guilty, made me feel as if I was in the wrong. I didn’t say yes, I just didn’t say no a second time. As I remember it, he wanted to play “hairdresser” and so I was his experiment…
So at the end of the day, my hair was swept into my bag, a hat was put on so no one knew, and I didn’t say a word. When my dad came to pick me up from school, we got to the end of the playground before I burst into tears and showed him what was in my bag.
He obviously went to go and see why the teacher hadn’t done anything about things like this, why there weren’t things in place to prevent things like this from happening in the first place.
We then had to go to the hairdressers to get my hair sorted out…
This all could have been avoided if I was strong about saying the word “no”. It’s more than okay to say “no”. DON’T ever feel guilty for saying no, if you don’t want to do something or if you don’t want something to happen then say no, it is okay. The person you say “no” to might be a little mad, but whats that matter? If you don’t want to do something / don’t want something to happen, then stand up for yourself.
Another time I should have definitely said “no”, was when I used to get money taken off of me. So in Year 7, 8 and 9, I used to walk home with some friends, and on the way home, we would usually get followed by some kids that used to bully me. We would walk into the shop to buy a drink or some food, my dad would usually give me £10 for the week to buy things after school. However, a lot of the time, that money used to get stolen from me. They would either take it out of my hand just before I was about to pay or sometimes they would ask me to buy them a drink, with the whole “I’ll give you the money back tomorrow” comment. Tomorrow never really happened. It happened once or twice but that was it.
So for ages, I would have money taken from me because I couldn’t say “no”. I did say “no” once or twice, but I got the threat that they would beat me up. Now I know what your thinking, they probably wouldn’t have beat me up, but I have been beaten up before, just for being me…
So usually, I wouldn’t risk it. I would just give in, give them the money or buy them the drink they wanted. Let’s be honest, no one wants to beat up, especially when it could have been prevented by buying a drink or something small.
Another thing, where I failed to say “no”, was when people asked to borrow my phone or bus money, I could never say “no” and so I would have to walk home because of me not having bus money, and I would have to top up my phone with credit more than a normal person, because people had used it.
I know that sometimes it is difficult to say no, but a lot of the time it is in your best interest to say “no”. Say “no” where you can to avoid being hurt, upset, or even humiliated. Trust me, I wish I said no. I wouldn’t have had my hair cut, my money would have lasted longer and so would have my credit. Saying “no” would have meant that I wasn’t an easy target, therefore making it harder for people to take advantage of me.
Most of the time I felt guilty, but I wish I knew it was okay to say “no” when I was younger, it would have saved me a whole load of problems.
Now I know that I should have told my dad about these things happening, as when I did, it stopped. I should have told a teacher or even a friend, because then maybe it would have stopped quicker.
Okay, so that’s it for me this week, I felt the need to write about this as I am finally learning to say “no”. I feel that I am so much stronger, defiantly stronger than I was this time last year. So here’s to thinking positively, to learning to say “no”, to thinking about whats best for YOU. Thank you for everyone’s support, your all great! Much love – Ally xx