It was so weird to go back…

Hey guys, first post in a while, I’ve already explained in one post before why I’m not writing as much, it just feels so weird to write. I don’t have to anymore, this was like my diary to write negative things in and figure out why it’s happening, hoping that someone can relate, but life is going well and I’m happy. That seems kind of weird to type, I’ve never been so happy in one place before. I’ll probably write more on that soon, I’m trying to find time to write, mainly because I don’t want this to go. I have built up such a huge amazing audience over the 2 years that I have been writing, it’ll be 3 years on the 31st December. It doesn’t feel that long, I still haven’t really got the hang of it, I still find it nerve-wracking when I put my stuff out there, or when I get a notification that someone has said something. But it’s been an awesome 2 almost 3 years, it’s been really helpful for me and for others (That’s what they’ve said anyway).

Hopefully, after the New Year, I’ll be posting more, I know I got a lot I want to post in this month, before 2017 ends.

But here goes, a post that I knew I would write. I didn’t know how it would get written when thinking of it, but here goes…


Monday 18th December 2017…

That was the last time I ever had to go back, back to the place where a lot of bad memories lie.

That will be the last time I’m told I have to go, I may visit in the future, who knows,

But that was the last time that I had to go,

It was weird to stand outside the front gate and look in,

Nothing had changed, still, the same old secondary school that I knew all too well,

It was dark, the lights were on in most of the rooms, I’d never seen the school quite like this,

It looked so peaceful.

It didn’t look like the place that I once knew,

There were no screams, no laughs, no sounds of running feet,

There was no shouting,

Not even casual conversation, it was quiet, it was peaceful.

People started to turn up, friends started to turn up, and we walked in,

It had begun, I thought.

As I walked slowly down that path, I felt nervous, I didn’t know what to expect,

We were laughing and smiling,

Listening to other people’s, “do you remember when that happened there?”,

We walked through to a hall and it suddenly hit me with how nervous I really was,

Who would be here?

Would they say anything?

Breathe Alison, one last time, that’s all it is,

Put a smile on that face of yours, have a laugh with your mates,

Joke around, laugh when your dad says something to them about how they were the bad influence that I needed.

Smile at everyone, say hello. Get a little bit too excited when you see your friend you haven’t seen since August,

Yes, they’re all staring because you did shout a L I T T L E too loud.

It’s going to be okay, breath.

We all had to line up, then sit down in a big hall.

I felt better knowing that there weren’t that many people there,

That I was comfortable with these people,

That, hey, they were actually nice people.

So the teachers started talking, we all went quiet,

We were no longer their students, just young adults sat in the place where I used to dread being,

I didn’t get my chair kicked or my hair pulled,

I sat next to one of my best friends, we laughed a little, smiled a lot.

This is the place that I didn’t mind being.

When it was over and time to go home,

I missed it, which sounds weird,

How can you miss somewhere, where you used to hate?

It made no sense to me, but then again, I didn’t really miss the place,

I missed the teachers that cared,

The funny people who made me smile,

My friends, the library,

The moments that made me smile and laugh,

I didn’t miss the negative stuff that happened.

The night was odd and it was weird to go back,

But it was a happy and funny night,

It was good to see people who I may not see again,

To hear about what they’ve been up to.

It may have even been the last time that I hear their names called out again.

It was a really odd night, but I’m glad I went.

It’s over. That’s it. My time there is done,

The way I feel about it can’t be put into words,

But if there’s one thing I will say,

Never miss an opportunity that you might not get again.

Okay, so there it is. I wasn’t too sure about this one but I was told to post it. I’m hoping to post again soon, instead of waiting for something negative to happen, I’ve started thinking of everything that’s positive in my life, so I’ll be writing about that soon. Merry Christmas! Hope everyone has a good one! Stay strong and keep smiling, live every moment as if it is your last. Much love – Ally xx